QUOTES! yaya

[Misfit]

Shoyku: I murdered someone today. ^_^
lvlisf1t: Who? ^_^
Shoyku: Someone named John. ^_^ I think. ^_^
Shoyku: I don't really know who the person was, so I named him John after I killed him. ^_^
Shoyku: John Stinster!
lvlisf1t: o_o
lvlisf1t: O-okay ^_^
Shoyku: And then I took the golf club, and kept beating the body. And I was all, "JOOOOHN SPINSTER AND ME HAVIN' THE TIME OF A LIFETIME!"
Shoyku: I like wearing dress shirts improperly.


-----------------


Shoyku: It was perfectly cumfy and snug. ^_^
lvlisf1t: And numb ^_^
lvlisf1t: wait
lvlisf1t: ...
lvlisf1t: [-insert Shoyku's name here-]. >:O
Shoyku: What? o_o
lvlisf1t: You just said "cumfy"
lvlisf1t: F----in pervert >:O
Shoyku: Isn't that how you spe... OH GOD!
lvlisf1t: x)
lvlisf1t: xo~
Shoyku: Comfy, cumfy... DAMMIT!
lvlisf1t: Damnit
Shoyku: :-( I'm a subconscious pervert. :-(
lvlisf1t: I'm a scubadiver pervert. :-(

[-N-]

[ 23:34 ] < Megan-Me-Crazy > If you're going to be absurdist, fine.
[ 23:34 ] < Megan-Me-Crazy > But at least be funny abou tit.
[ 23:34 ] < Megan-Me-Crazy > about it*
[ 23:34 ] < Bert > tit
[ 23:34 ] < Bert >
[ 23:35 ] < Del_Snizz > Good work today, team.
[ 23:35 ] < Neel > Vintage Bert.

[Shlup]

Someone post the shinra screen cap thing! I like that quote...

[Jebus]

[18:22:31] -Jebus- Missouri < Virginia.
[18:22:42] -Jebus- At least you have INTERESTING culture over there.
[18:22:49] -Jebus- Then again, we have Mark Twain.
[18:22:49] -Proto- yeah
[18:23:15] -Jebus- Other than him, Oh yeah, and Harry Truman. Other than them, our culture is "I dun lost mah cows."

[Wizdumb]

Bash.org is the best.

<Erdage> WTF dude help me, i have lost my dick!!!
<DakuTenshi> What are you talking about?
<Erdage> help me daku, it's missing!
<DakuTenshi> Erdage... you are drunk right?
<Erdage> Err.. no...
<DakuTenshi> Yes you are
<Erdage> WTF??? How do you know?
<DakuTenshi> Erdage, you are a girl...

------------

<Foxx> im never fallin in love
<Foxx> i've decided
<FuriousC> you dont choose who you love, love chooses you
<FuriousC> and that little ing son of a bitch sticks itself to your face like the godless bloodsucking bastards in Alien and refuses to let go until it has drained your soul and left you an empty shell of a human being

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<TomTheBomb> what the most racist thing in the world?
<|Snaker|> erm
<|Snaker|> most racist thing in the world?
<TomTheBomb> a sprinkler
<|Snaker|> ..
<HongKongKilla|TMNT> lol?
<TomTheBomb> they go chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink SPIC nigganigganigganigganigga

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<Jason> One time I walked into my parents bedroom and they were having sex, it was traumatizing for them
<Jason> Not so much that I walked in, but that I started shouting "LET THAT BITCH HAVE IT"

------------

SnatchFace: I stumbled into the bathroom this morning after being up half the night with stomach pain and grabbed the wrong tube out of the cabinet in my stupor. I brushed for a half minute with Anusol HC when it slowly seeped into my addled brain that somethign was not quite right. I have been barfing ever since. Am I dying?
Rouge: Perhaps you should change your name to Assface.
Blazert40: I'll give you 32 mins to live.
vi-edit: Going by your screenname, at least it wasn't Vagisil.

------------

<Abby> nice language
<Abby> you kiss your mother with that mouth?
<nether> no, i kiss yours

------------

<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
<simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
<simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap
<simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone...
<simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous.

------------

<Murielle> this just in from ABC Radio - a man went to defend himself when he heard a noise, stuck a .22 caliber pistol in his shorts.. accidently pulled the hammer back... felt this stinging sensation, and a trickle of blood down his leg....
<Murielle> he had performed a self-orchectomy
<Murielle>
<Noelle> lol
<Charron> hmm, so shooting your testes off "stings"?
<Murielle> apparently
<StephanieNYC> uhhhh
<StephanieNYC> a stinging sensation?
<StephanieNYC> this makes for a new definition to the term "numb nuts"

[Squall04]

Quotes? I've got quotes.

Sir, Major General John M Schofield's graduation address to the graduating class of 1879 at West Point is as follows:
The discipline which makes the soldiers of a free country reliable in battle is not to be gained by harsh or tyrannical treatment, on the contrary, such treatment is far more likely to destroy than to make an army. It is possible to impart instruction and give commands in such a maanner and such a tone of voice as to inspire in the soldier no feeling but an intense desire to obey. While the opposite manner and tone of voice cannot fail to excite strong resentment and a desire to disobey. The one mode or other of dealing with subordinates springs from a corresponding spirit in the breast of the commander. He who feels the respect which is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them respect for himself. While he who feels, and hence manifests, disrespect towards others, especially his subordinates, cannot fail to inspire hatred against himself.

All from memory.

[Awrini]

[08:30:10:11] * Enano loves that sig pic.
[08:30:10:12] Loony_BoB> Your Skifri one
[08:30:10:12] Loony_BoB> ?*
[08:30:10:12] Enano> Yep.
[08:30:10:12] Loony_BoB> It's good stuff.
[08:30:10:13] Loony_BoB> I love it when people don't change themes every week. Long term themes are awesome.
[08:30:10:13] * WarZidane (~WarZidane@ffchat-3bd2272c.upc-d.chello.nl) has joined #eoff
[08:30:10:13] Loony_BoB> I could go and play skifri at any time now and just think of you and Mindy.
[08:30:10:13] * Loony_BoB licks WZ.
[08:30:10:13] * Jiraya (Steak@IPv4.158.38.1c6ad229) has joined #eoff
[08:30:10:13] Enano> xD
[08:30:10:13] * Loony_BoB licks Jiraya.
[08:30:10:13] Enano> Now that is funny.
[08:30:10:14] * WarZidane (~WarZidane@ffchat-3bd2272c.upc-d.chello.nl) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
[08:30:10:14] Loony_BoB> I swear, when I play the game, it's like "GO 'NANO! HURRY UP YOUR ARSE! OH GOD! NO! FRICKING MINDY! GO AWAY! GOD DAMMIT. 'NANO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
[08:30:10:16] Enano> xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[Giga Guess]

I didn't get to copy paste, but the convo Escobar, pinceofdarknez, and I had about the "Good ol' days of EoFF." Before the Big Wipe.

[Awrini]

Don't get me started on the "good ol' days".

[TasteyPies]

1) "Paradise is like disneyland with hookers."

2) "......huh?"

3) "Mark exploded"

4) "OOPS! Dart in your neck!"

[Giga Guess]

Don't get me started on the "good ol' days".

Yeah, you joined a couple days after me (After the big wipe, anyways...) How long before that were you here?

[escobert]

[14:33] loserkidssuck: PG you mother ******
[14:33] loserkidssuck:
[14:34] PureGhettoPika: sup sexy
[14:34] *** Auto-response sent to PureGhettoPika: Aqua Teens Asemble!
[14:34] loserkidssuck: nm you?
[14:34] PureGhettoPika: asian pride
[14:34] loserkidssuck: I'm at school now
[14:34] loserkidssuck: yay
[14:34] PureGhettoPika: yay

[-N-]

[ 19:47 ] * Giga_Guess dry humos neel.
[ 19:47 ] < Jebus > Humos?
[ 19:47 ] < Jebus > Humus!
[ 19:47 ] * Giga_Guess dry *HUMPS neel.
[ 19:47 ] < Jebus >
[ 19:48 ] < Giga_Guess > AAAGH!

[ 19:51 ] < Neel > Hahahaha!
[ 19:52 ] < Neel > BoB's an Admin now!
[ 19:52 ] < Neel > Now he's gonna have to change EVERYONE's screen name!
[ 19:52 ] < Neel > xD

[SeeDRankLou]

Comedian: So, I stopped smoking.....
*croud applauds*
*croud applauds*
*fading applause*
Comedian: .....crack, and it was actually quite a bit easier...
*Comedian is interrupted by audience cracking up laughing*

Daria: Life sucks no matter what, so don't be fooled by location change.

Oscar Wilde: Life is too important to be taken seriously.

Ralph Waldo Emmerson: A true friend stabs you in the front.

Kathy Griffin: Apparently they've expanded the internet to include other things besides porn.

Jerry Seinfeld: A man will always sacrifice sleep for sex.

[fire_of_avalon]

Uhhh, SRL, I think you have your Emerson and Wilde quotes mixed up