Ansem: "Rules of Manhood"
"01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella." I can't let my friends get all wet!
"02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth"What can I say? The end of Moulin Rouge is sad. I also cried during Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio.
"05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever, unless you actually marry her." Oops...
"06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable." But my friend drinks Milwaukee's Bert! Have you tasted that? It's the worst!
"07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional." That's not right! I feel crushed when my birthday is forgotten and I make it a point to remember all my friend's b-days as well.
"08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest." No, the one who complains until he gets what he wants decides.
"09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing." I ask, then leave because I hate watching any sport.
"10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend." I haven't broken this one, but I just wanted to say... eww...
"12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts." I was scared, okay!?
"15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything." I always tell them, it's the right thing to do.
"16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers." So... only redneck girls can love sports?
"18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean." Oops...
"19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer." *scoffs* I always break this one. What can I say? I love six-packs on guys.
"20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours,
except if she's withholding s*x pending your response." If I had a girlfriend, I'd break this.
"21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a.Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!" I did not know I was doing anything wrong. I was just flirting with him.
"23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary." Being a virgin, I break this rule every time I talk to a female on the phone.
"28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Mens Gymnastics. Ever." But some of those men are really graceful!
Kounetsu: So, 16 out of 28 broken. You're so gay, Ansem.
Ansem: Stop being so mean to me!
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Not a single one of those fits me. Except for the first one. I prefer to walk in the rain without an umbrella. And the 2 one, because I don't really cry. Yeah, those were the only two rules that I haven't broken. Man, if it feels great to be gay. 
Originally Posted by Ichy
