muahahahah *sigh*
i'm happy now

The Man Bible
Chionos Chapter 1. verse 15:

A woman shalt not allow another woman to pass without judging her taste in clothing.

verse 16:

A man shalt not notice another man's clothing under any circumstance. NO excuses. see verse 17

verse 17:

A man shalt not allow another man to pass without punching him on the shoulder. HARD

verse 18:

Thou shalt not flinch when another man hits you on the shoulder.

Chapter 2. verse 3:

Butt slapping is strictly forbidden outside of hardcore sporting(ie those that see a lot of blood) Unless the butt in question is female in origin.