If you could remember them with a smile, funny anecdotes... or laugh at your own misery at the time (or even now) - it would be admirable, and is liable to help you and bring others closer to you.I'll try to remember to laugh at my parents' funeral someday then.
I don't mean to express contempt - simply to treat things with humour. Great people can do it while it happens, and others have to wait a while. Either way - it's a wonderful defence mechanism, as long as you don't become cynical, blunt or dull.