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Thread: Car Insurance Quotes

  1. #1
    Banned Thunday Man's Avatar
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    Default Car Insurance Quotes

    THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE CAR DRIVERS ATTEMPTED TO SUMMARIZE THE DETAILS OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FEWEST POSSIBLE WORDS.

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

    I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

    In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

    My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

    The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him.

    I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

    I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

    I wanted to ram this guy walking down the street cause he was so ugly I felt pity and wanted to relieve his misery.

    The pedestrian ran into my car before I ran over him.

    I shot the pedestrian before I hit him; therefore, he was already dead when I struck him.

  2. #2

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    "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him."

    That one made me laugh.

    I have a suspicion that some of these are made up.

    SEXY McAWESOME TO YOU, MISTER


  3. #3
    Meat Puppet's Avatar
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    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
    I see mine got in there.

  4. #4
    Ghost of Christmas' past Recognized Member theundeadhero's Avatar
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    That's the funniest post I've ever read here. My roommates looking at me like I'm crazy now from laughing so much.
    ...

  5. #5

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    "I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. "

    I cant look at that without laughing

    n o - l o v e - o r - g l o r y
    Goodbyes|Me|Trinity|Us|Mako Eyes
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  6. #6

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    "I shot the pedestrian before I hit him; therefore, he was already dead when I struck him."

    How do these people get my mom's car insurace information?

  7. #7

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    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
    Mugwumps, hi-jumps, low slumps, big bumps

  8. #8
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    Oh god tose were funny. I'm dying over here.

  9. #9
    lomas de chapultepec Recognized Member eestlinc's Avatar
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    see, I run an insurance call center at work so I spend a good bit of my day reading actual (not made up) insurance claims, like

    "the saw was jammed so he stuck his hand under the safety guard to unjam it and cut his hand on the saw blade" (not very smart)

    or

    "customer was running to the restroom when she crapped herself. she slipped in her own feces and fell to the floor, causing a bruised hip" (this seriously happened)

    or my personal favorite

    "hotel room walls damaged by smoke from a meth lab that exploded in the room" (nothing is funnier than an exploding meth lab)

  10. #10

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    Hmm, so this must be what the people who call for Mark's support use as insurace claims.

  11. #11
    The flying homo! Recognized Member Giga Guess's Avatar
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    THESE people are the reason I have to pay throught he nose for car insurance. Hilarious though. But I seriously hope that some of those are made up....

    Many thanks Christmas!
    Horniest Member, 2007! Gimme a little unf unf!

  12. #12
    (。◕‿‿◕。) Recognized Member Jojee's Avatar
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    ROFL!

    <i>To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.</i>

    I'm seriously laughing so hard... ^^ at almost all of those. XD I feel like a freak.

    *continues laughing* :grinpink:


    Wat
    is
    going
    on
    wtf
    rawr

  13. #13
    Banned Thunday Man's Avatar
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    Heh, glad ya all enjoyed it.

    I dont post here much anymore, so i just post threads and leave

  14. #14
    Last Exile Baloki's Avatar
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    Thunday Man quotes you happy, sponsered by Norwich Union :P
    FOA

  15. #15
    -=Hentai School Girl=- Fuzakeru's Avatar
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    Those were great.
    Do you Wanna Build a Snowman?

    -= It doesn't have to be a snowman... =-

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