"Personally, I'm into hardcore corn"
"garbagey, the garbage can that really can."
"Gambling is like doing drugs, it only works if you sniff it."
"Man + Heater = Hot"
"Fetus sounds like feet us"
"The Saxaphones and the French Horns were good friends... We were always Saxy and they were always Horny"
"I'd like a house built out of duct tape, because then I wouldn't have to duct tape my windows for hurricanes"
"I'd have to say he sucks. But what he sucks, however, is not to be disclosed."
"It's funny how people who watch CNN also have a tendency to fart out of their mouths instead of talking"


Not my personal favorites, but they're what's on this random person's random quotes (and happen to make sense for those who don't go on IRC and when they're taken out of context.).