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Thread: Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

  1. #406

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    Episode II - "A Side Order of Summoned Monsters"

    After a bit of convincing from the gang, Cecil finally gives in and lets the girls tag along. After all, considering this is the last time your party changes before the end of the game, he had to concede eventually for the sake of 5 members.

    And lucky for us, there is absolutely no one that gives in with as much enthusiasm and unnecessary punctuation as Cecil.



    "our common cause!" just happens to be the only cave we haven't previously visited on the moon.



    This cave is, in fact, hailed as one of the most important locations in the history of video games. This is because it is the origin of the mysterious optional location with no hint of who, or what awaits that has become prominent in modern console RPGs.



    They eh... Well, they hadn't quite mastered it yet.

    Make your way through the cave, taking care to pick up the treasure chests and dispatch undoubtedly some of the toughest enemies in the game thus far. But wait! Don't cross that single-column land bridge just yet.



    It might not look it, but apparently there is a huge foul beast standing directly in front of you here. My guess is that Behemoth has a special cloaking device, employed by the Final Fantasy IV enemy designer in order to cleverly evade actually drawing the beast by handing in blank pieces of paper as the conceptual designs.



    Well, the cloaking device is swiftly lifted from Behemoth upon stepping on his panel, and if I were you I'd be careful. Behemoth will attack you twice for every bit of damage you deal to him and he's extremely powerful. In fact, this fight is reminiscent to fighting zombies with Cecil and Rydia at the beginning of the game, except imagine all of your members as Rydia. Strangely enough, Rydia is probably the most useful member in these battles as she is capable of dealing the most damage to Behemoth in a single turn.

    A few high level spells and summons and Behemoth will go down. Now heal up for the next one! Eventually you will come to the end of the cave, housing two of arguably the most useless NPCs in the Final Fantasy series to date.




    When I first arrived here I thought that these two textboxes were my reward. I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, I was satisfied.

    But good for you, I was wrong!



    Looks like the queen of monsters did a bit of sleeping around.



    And you certainly don't want to pick a fight with a guy who has a ho for a wife.



    ESPECIALLY if he has a spell called MegaNuke.

    At this point, you'll probably want to restart. But don't get discouraged. Believe it or not Bahamut actually isn't that difficult with the right cheater strategies. (see: Wall, Jump)

    Eventually you will overcome the true king of summoned monsters, proving yourself to be a group of incredible strength and will.



    You see, he said it himself!



    ...ut

    Okay. Believe it or not, there is actually more to do back on Earth so make use of the wonderful exit spell and head back to your airship er- giant whale.



    What the...



    Head back to Baron, there is still business to be taken care of.



    Wait, you didn't actually think it was important business, did you?

    Actually Baron at this point in the game is probably the location with the best ratio of funny textboxes to non-funny textboxes in the whole of Final Fantasy IV. Let's have a look:







    And my personal favorite:



    Amidst the hilarious dialogue plauging the Baron castle NPCs at the moment, there is actually one who still has a shred of relevance.



    Okay, it's pretty funny too.

    Anyway, it's time to investigate. Head for the basement at the bottom of the east tower.



    As you can probably already tell, this is no ordinary human king. Two words have already escaped his mouth and neither of them were punctuated with "!?"




    You would think that at this point, where your party is clearly the only hope for saving the world from utter destruction, that anyone who had help to give would just hand that crap over, instead they always want to test your strength. This would be like challenging a bomb defuser to a fistfight before giving him the tools he needed to prevent a chain of atomic bombs from exploding all over the city.



    ...With brass knuckles and semi automatic weapon.



    "Tch. You're weak, you just weren't cut out to save us."



    TO BE CONTINUED!
    (Oh, king...)





  2. #407
    Banned Destai's Avatar
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    I havent read it yet but HURRAY- youve earned a cookie!

  3. #408
    Old school, like an old fool. Flying Mullet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necronopticous
    And you certainly don't want to pick a fight with a guy who has a ho for a wife.
    Words to live by.
    Figaro Castle

  4. #409
    Score: 0 out of 2 Dignified Pauper's Avatar
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    i love the fact bahamut's attack left you fine, but Odin's defeated you with ease.

    JOY!

    You're my hero.

  5. #410

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    Your awesome man. Great stuff.

  6. #411

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    Jermeh's triumphant return!

  7. #412
    Banned nik0tine's Avatar
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    It's good to see that this is still alive! It's humorous as ever, man! Keep up the good work.

  8. #413
    lomas de chapultepec Recognized Member eestlinc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marick
    i love the fact bahamut's attack left you fine, but Odin's defeated you with ease.
    He just didn't show the impending death after Bahamut's attack.

  9. #414
    Triple Triad Ace Ultima Shadow's Avatar
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    You would think that at this point, where your party is clearly the only hope for saving the world from utter destruction, that anyone who had help to give would just hand that crap over, instead they always want to test your strength. This would be like challenging a bomb defuser to a fistfight before giving him the tools he needed to stopping a chain of atomic bombs from exploding all over the city.

    ...With brass knuckles and semi automatic weapon.
    XD!

    Keep it up, Necro!

  10. #415
    Kittay's Avatar
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    I luv you
    Hi! I don't come on here often, but when I do, be sure to say hi. I'm nice and I don't bite. I just have a life.

    Square Games I have beaten:
    FFIV, FFVI, FFIX, FFVII

    Square Games I am currently playing:
    FFX, FFV, Chrono Trigger

    Pleeeeeease don't spoil anything for me. Or I will cry. And maybe stab you with a plastic fork.

  11. #416

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    LMAO! Man, that was one of your best works in a while. Well worth the wait. Keep it up, you're oh so close to being finished.

  12. #417

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    ROFL good job once again, man. cant wait for your LOL and humerous twists to the end game :chuckle:
    :fencing:
    It alaways takes me a while to get a signature.. oh guess I do now

  13. #418
    Gamecrafter Recognized Member Azure Chrysanthemum's Avatar
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    Good as usual

  14. #419
    Guy Fawkes Masamune·1600's Avatar
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    "... no… no words to describe it!... Poetry!... They should have sent a poet!"

  15. #420
    Strapping young lad KuRt's Avatar
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    omsg an update, better yet GREAT UPDATE!!! OMSG..

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