Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

[commodorejohn]

About the "Let's sleep in the King's bed!" line: in FFIIIj, when you go to the top of Princess Sara's tower in Sassoon Castle, you can walk up to Sara's bed and, er...put delicately, your righteous noble Light Warriors do some serious shakin' around during the night. So I'd assume that the thing about sleeping in the King's bed was a tip-off to FFIIIj's corresponding scene, but it shouldn't have been there for two reasons:
(1) Since Square never translated FFIIIj anyway, the scene in FFIV has no context and is just nonsensical. If the American audience knew that it was a tip-off, things would've made more sense.
(2) If the Light Warriors in FFIIIj were giving themselves a good time in the bed of a pretty girl, and Cecil is apparently supposed to be doing it in the bed of an old guy...ew, I don't wanna think about the implications there.

[feioncastor]

When he's dead he looks like a mop!

He does indeed resemble a mop. Which is why he's so useful.

I mean, his skills as a magic user can't be matched, and when he's dead, he doubles as a mop, capable of soaking up the toughest spills. Fusoya's mop-esque appearence is not without reason.

Honestly, do you look anything like a mop when you're passed out? I think not.

Feion

[Ultima Shadow]

Come up with the next chapter soon!

[Necronopticous]

Don't worry, it's coming. I'm a busy man these days

[Ironman0723]

Don't tempt us. ::drools::

[squirrel]

more i say!

your comics have been one of the few things that haven't failed to make me laugh during this very difficult and depressing time i'm going through this winter.

yours as well as a certain fanfiction i read on another site... not sure if the author is on here, and i'd have to put proper credit, but its a parody on FFIV, really hysterical.

anyways... more cheese please!

[nik0tine]

anyways... more cheese please!

More Ovaltine Please!

[Mage_of_Fire]

No, he doesn't forget. "Litbolt" and "Firebomb" are items, not skills, and you do get them in Japanese version. Also, you can use a Game Genie for the US version (FFII) and buy things from stores called "Dummy", and all that these mysterious "dummy" items are. They are items originally from FF4 that were omitted to make the game more simple. Some other items include the Smut, and the various healing items. For example, there used to be eyedrops for blind, echo screen for silence, mallet for mini, and so forth. But when we got the game, they condensed them all into "Heal", because it would be too complex for our fragile American brains....

Oh my god, I'm so lame because I point out dumb stuff like that. I swear, I really just need to shut the f**k up every now and then. My bad.

Feion

Hmmm, I guess my rom must be translated then, cause I definitely have luck mallet's, diet food, echo herbs, etc... It is EXTREMELY annoying against enemies that have "Bad Breath"... Every status in the book except the good ones. And a turn for each one. Those stupid dinosaur things guarding the ribbon used it, but I reflected it back onto them!

[Necronopticous]

Special Extended Edition!
Parental Guidence Suggested

Episode III - "Rated R for Ridiculous" Just as soon as you get comfy in your new ride, you'll be approached by Kain, still under thr control of Golbez. Cecil is informed that if he ever wants to see Rosa again he must obtain the earth crystal and hand it over. Frightened by the thought of never seeing his girlfriend again, Cecil does what any one of us would. He goes to the town led by dozens of scantly clad women and home to the only brothel in the world, the great Toroia. As would be expected, there are lots of interesting people in this town. Some of the highlights include the famed "bad grammar warning guy": The "Hmm, I wonder if TwinHarps will be essential to the story in the near future" girl: And the filthy old pervert: After you're done introducing yourself to the ladies walking around town (and skinny dipping in the lake) head to the whorehouse. The Toroian whorehouse, referred to by its codename "Cafe" is one of the most interesting locations in the whole of Final Fantasy IV. I'll let the following images speak for themselves. One of the prostitutes will offer you a mysterious "pass" for a whopping 10,000 gil. For Cecil's sake, raise the money. This is Cecil's only chance in the game to receive questionable favors from the "showgirls" Whew. Well, after you've satisfied Cecil's raging libido head to the strangely placed Black Chocobo farm in the brothel's basement. Be sure to read the headline posted to the wall. And if that doesn't do it for you, perhaps the near phonetically impossible noise that Black Chocobos make will. When the signs of bad translation show even in the random noises of farm animals in your video game, that's pretty bad news. Anyway, once you're all done in town head for the castle. You might be wondering if you missed something. Perhaps a background on this mysterious elf who is evil by nature and decided to steal the earth crystal. The story of Dark Elf is as follows: He is a mysterious elf who is evil by nature and decided to steal the earth crystal. Trying to understand may spontaneously cause your head to explode. My advice is to not even bother. Instead, go visit Edward! If you're thinking something along the lines of "What!?" then you're way ahead of yourself. Just wait until Cid opens his mouth. This is what you would get at a restaurant if you ordered the "Irrelevent Textbox, (hold the sense.)" Well, if you hadn't guessed, its time to catch a Black Chocobo and fly to the Dark Elf's cavern to retrieve the stolen earth crystal. Make sure to equip yourself with wooden armor and weapons so that you won't be affected by the magic-metal barrier that the Dark Elf created. On a tangent, as it has went unsaid long enough. VampGirls are HOT Oh yeah, Dark Elf is also a robot who speaks in all caps. ...while disregarding the more basic rules of semantics. He might not be the most gramatically correct boss, but he never fails to wipe you out on his first couple of turns. Luckily, Edward's horrible music pulls through for you again. That's right, it's so terrible that it disrupts magnetism and allows you to equip all of your metal weapons again. Take the opportunity to destroy Dark Elf and obtain the earth crystal! But wait... Dark Elf seems to have more tricks up his sleeve! ...nevermind TO BE CONTINUED! (After I finish printing out these VampGirl pinups <3)

[nik0tine]

NICE! Best one yet! I'll have you're share! That I will!

[Azure Chrysanthemum]

I've been converted, truly a magnificent thing. TRULY!?

[Flashback007]

Great, it was great again. Ps. If you have some of those Vampire Girl pinups left,send them =P

[theundeadhero]

Vampgirls ARE hot!

[Auronhart]

Things don't get much funnier than The Power of Cheese.

[Mage_of_Fire]

This is what you would get at a restaurant if you ordered the "Irrelevent Textbox, (hold the sense.)"

I love that. Good work.

[Necronopticous]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[aeris2001x2]

lol.I can not believe i have not come on this thread before. Absolutly stunning stuf herer................. and yesh that is deliberate ironie.

I await tentatively for the next instalement

[i-kant]

thanks necro

[Flamethrower]

Holy crap. I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed this hard at something I read on a message board.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Hinky the Pickle]

Don't worry, me and my enterprise will leave positive feedback.

[-N-]

Excellent work you have here. I'm pleased to see something of this caliber spawn from such a site as this. This could be big, man - you're sitting on a gold mine of raw humor. Keep it up!

[Necronopticous]

Always nice to hear the feedback. I'm glad you all enjoy it, don't get too carried away, however, or I'll take all of your shares!

[XadamX]

Amazing, MAKE MORE

[Sephex]

Nice work again! Keep it up!

[FiendAngelical]

I'm sad to say I didn't find this thread until a few days ago! I wanted to say I love the story! It's so hilarious!

[Flamethrower]

This parody has inspired me to replay FFIV.

[MJN SEIFER]

It's mostly funny. But Please Don't Do Michael Jackson jokes anymore - I find them offensive!

[DJZen]

This parody makes me want to bite the idea and do the exact same thing for FFI.

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

[Necronopticous]

Episode IV - "Another one bites the dust" Great indeed. Now that you've retrieved the Earth Crystal from Dark Elf you have everything you need to get Rosa back from the evil clutches of Golbez. Meet Kain! In! the airship! To make the trade! Great! Oh no! The entire Red Wings clone crew has been turned into BushHags! If you don't want Rosa to suffer the same fate, you had better do what Kain says. After ascending into the clouds alongside Kain's airship you'll somehow magically be inside a tower. Ignore the impossible nature of the situation and press on. (Cue evil lighting) Uh oh! It appears Golbez not only has Kain under control but Yuna from Final Fantasy X as well! The following boss battle can be tough if you don't dispatch the sisters in the following order: Fat one >> Short one >> Sexually suggestive one The magus sisters never suspect that you know to kill off the obese one first, thus, they never fail to be surprised when you win the fight. Hurry on, Golbez is just ahead! YEAH! YOU FOUL TRAITOR! ... Wait... Golbez was always on the bad guy side, not quite a traitor... Okay ignore that textbox! Nobody calls Tellah an old man and gets away with it! Well... at least not without saying GRRR...... Unfortunately this is the end of Tellah, and while you might think that there is some deep symbolic significance or importance in his death, there isn't. You see, you're about to get Kain back on your team and rescue Rosa. This would make 6 members on your team, you get where this is going. Speaking of rescuing Rosa. Cozy? Don't you mean SEXY? Two characters in one sprite, now that's what I call hot. Green lights AND hyphen-delimited syllabled laughter. This can only mean one thing. A boss in a bikini! No fears, with Kain back this fat-assed-less-than-half-dressed-horizontal-lightning-bolt-shaped-crack-for-eyes wench hardly poses a threat. But not even Kain's physics defying jump ability can rid you of Cid's reaction to a dangerous situation. TO BE CONTINUED! (And you were expecting a vehicle!)

How will the heroes escape the crumbling tower?!
Find out next time on the series 2 finalé of Final Fantasy IV: "Ah, The Power of Cheese"!