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Thread: Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

  1. #91

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    Series 2




    Episode I - "Affirmative Action is going to be all over this"

    The King of Fabul is officially put down, so as you probably already guessed, you'll be getting a slick new ride. This time you don't have to have three rocks sticking out of the water to pass.

    And so, it's time once more to head off in no particular direction until you run into trouble again. Before you leave Yang will share some touching dialogue with his wife.



    Yeah, I think it's safe to assume Yang never gets any.

    Anyway, the crew of dwarf clones is utterly fascinated with Cecil for some reason and the Captain even offers his personal welcome to you.



    Feat eh?... I wonder if he's talking about how you just failed to protect the kingdom of Fabul? Or maybe he's a sadist that has heard about how much abuse you dish out to Rydia on a regular basis?

    I suppose he could be referring to any of the wonderful things Cecil has done so far in the game... Uh oh! Looks like trouble!



    Wait-

    I think there's trouble... Umm, What does that exclaiming sentence even mean? It seems to be a question although it's just a loud, assertive remark.



    Oh, Leviathan, king serpent of the seas, right. Okay so there is trouble, glad that's cleared up.

    After Leviathan decides to attack you for no reason you'll all be hurdled from the ship. Cecil is somehow trajected into the air where he travels miles in a southward direction conveniently placing him right next to the town that progresses the story and leaving him teamless so that he can have spies in his party without breaking the 5 member team limit. Very slick.

    Cecil is speechless at the situation. Well, almost.



    Funny, I was thinking the same thing.

    So just where is it that Cecil lands? Well, you've been here before in the game, except last time you were offing old guys. Anyway, the place isn't too thrilled about you being back and they do all kinds of nasty things to you.

    This includes poisoning you,



    Turning you into a pig (and laughing about it with incremental pauses),



    And worst of all, confusing you with really, really bad game translation.



    Hmm, something tells me he doesn't understand.

    The following conversation that takes place with the elder is basically impossible to understand but luckily, again, you can sort of make it out from what happens.

    You'll be assigned two helpers (spies!) to assist you in becoming a Paladin. If you succeed they'll totally forgive you for killing their citizens and stealing their most prized possession, sounds like a deal!

    Make your way out of town and up the mountain to get started on your task. Half way up you'll meet up with an old friend, Tellah! He's still pissed off but since you only have 3 out of 5 spots in your party filled he joins you - and its a good thing he does otherwise you might not suspect that you'd have to fight a boss at the top of the mountain.



    You have to be pretty damn evil for someone to physically feel your evilness.



    OH NO It's the bush hag again! Oh wait, scratch that.

    After casually introducing himself and shaking your hands, Milon will initiate battle with you and magically have undead zombies fighting alongside him.

    Dispatch the mysterious zombies before you go for Milon as they'll eat your brains if you don't kill them. After you do enough damage to Milon he'll use his "12 Periods in a Single Textbox" attack.



    After you defeat Milon walk 4 steps and you'll fight another boss.

    Milon, again. Very exciting stuff. Beat him again and he'll tell you that you did so.



    After this its all downhill, literally. Cecil becomes a paladin and swears he will never be such an asshole ever again, Tellah spontaneously remembers all of his spells, and the group returns together for a warm welcome.

    Well, it didn't work for Michael Jackson, but Cecil is sure getting a good response from going dark to light. This black mage is so excited he decides to exclaim the obvious.



    TO BE CONTINUED!
    (Is that true!)




    Last edited by Necronopticous; 12-04-2004 at 03:24 AM.

  2. #92

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    thanks man. I actually burst out laughing on occasions...awesome stuff

  3. #93

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    It's fantasticly. I enjoy it. It's a piece of art.

    Moogle:
    1. Catlike creature. Has a large red ball on it's head attached by a long hair. Some can fly. Some can fight. Some are lazy bastards. All say Kupo (or Puu)

  4. #94
    Who's scruffy lookin'? Captain Maxx Power's Avatar
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    They're gonna write songs about this stuff. Then somebody will parody those songs.
    There is no signature here. Move along.

  5. #95
    The Demon of Elements
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    That comment about Michael Jackson is absolutely horrible!
    Yet so true.

    Hurry with the next episode.

    But do not hurry.

  6. #96
    Triple Triad Ace Ultima Shadow's Avatar
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    It's all just great stuff!!! Keep it up!!!

  7. #97
    An Ogrish One MoonsEcho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halenite
    Hurry with the next episode.

    But do not hurry.
    XD

    Yay for the start of Series 2! That made my day.

  8. #98

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    Quote Originally Posted by Halenite
    That comment about Michael Jackson is absolutely horrible!
    Yet so true.
    Hence the title of the episode.

  9. #99
    Queen of the BushHags Takara's Avatar
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    Fantastic, as expected.

  10. #100

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    You rule. Seriously.

  11. #101

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    While this thing was insanely funny, the coversation between the elder and Cecil wasn't at all confusing.

    Cecil: I must hurry!
    Elder: I do understand.
    But do not hurry.
    What is so confusing about that? Cecil lets the elder know that he needs to hurry, and the elder is saying that he understands why Cecil would be in a hurry, but is letting him know that being in a hurry is a bad idea here because haste generally makes waste.

    Also, this is from the first episode:

    Cecil unleashes a variety of attacks that kill any horde of aggressive enemy force in seconds, of course once you get control of Cecil he magically forgets how to do them and never remembers for the remainder of the game.
    No, he doesn't forget. "Litbolt" and "Firebomb" are items, not skills, and you do get them in Japanese version. Also, you can use a Game Genie for the US version (FFII) and buy things from stores called "Dummy", and all that these mysterious "dummy" items are. They are items originally from FF4 that were omitted to make the game more simple. Some other items include the Smut, and the various healing items. For example, there used to be eyedrops for blind, echo screen for silence, mallet for mini, and so forth. But when we got the game, they condensed them all into "Heal", because it would be too complex for our fragile American brains....

    Oh my god, I'm so lame because I point out dumb stuff like that. I swear, I really just need to shut the f**k up every now and then. My bad.

    Feion
    Last edited by feioncastor; 12-05-2004 at 05:58 AM.
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  12. #102

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    Quote Originally Posted by feioncastor
    What is so confusing about that? Cecil lets the elder know that he needs to hurry, and the elder is saying that he understands why Cecil would be in a hurry, but is letting him know that being in a hurry is a bad idea here because haste generally makes waste.
    Is that true!

    Quote Originally Posted by feioncastor
    No, he doesn't forget. "Litbolt" and "Firebomb" are items, not skills, and you do get them in Japanese version. Also, you can use a Game Genie for the US version (FFII) and buy things from stores called "Dummy", and all that these mysterious "dummy" items are. They are items originally from FF4 that were omitted to make the game more simple. Some other items include the Smut, and the various healing items. For example, there used to be eyedrops for blind, echo screen for silence, mallet for mini, and so forth. But when we got the game, they condensed them all into "Heal", because it would be too complex for our fragile American brains....
    Don't forget that there couldn't have possibly been references to the terrorist attacks on the world trade centers either, and there isn't any monster in Final Fantasy IV called a Bush Hag (*see image), and that Cecil doesn't actually try to kill Rydia in Village Mist after she survives the package.

    I don't think "Ah, The Power of Cheese" means to be a very accurate account of the events in Final Fantasy IV, although that's just my opinion.

    Last edited by Necronopticous; 12-05-2004 at 06:51 AM.

  13. #103
    Score: 0 out of 2 Dignified Pauper's Avatar
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    I would love to see what you have to say about Mystic Quest, or some of the scenes in FF6

  14. #104

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    Oh good lord... I'm dying with laughter!!

  15. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marick
    I would love to see what you have to say about Mystic Quest, or some of the scenes in FF6
    Oh, GAWD!
    I can just imagine some of the MQ stuff.

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