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Thread: Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

  1. #1
    DADDY LOVES GFOTY Recognized Member Necronopticous's Avatar
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    Default Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

    Note by Flying Mullet: Since the original site Necro hosted this "comic" on is now defunct, and thus, a lot of the picture locations no longer work, I'm providing the latest(as of this edit) url to where Necro has the comic hosted: Final Fantasy IV: Ah, The Power of Cheese.

    Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

    Courtesy of Necronopticous, Eyes on Final Fantasy, Demented3d, and Zsnes

    Visit the Final Fantasy IV "Ah, The Power of Cheese" Website!


    Series 1



    Episode I - "The Adventure Begins"

    We start Final Fantasy IV in the midst of a terrible wrongdoing by none other than... THE RED WINGS! Cecil is the leader of this merciless band of cute little clones who do things such as ask sadistic questions and ANSWER THEMSELVES! These guys are the epitome of "bad-ass" as we can see in the following picture.



    After witnessing the group ruthlessly murder a few senior citizens and steal their bling-bling, Cecil, the lead role in Final Fantasy IV, is faced with groups of monsters that attack the airships because they're monsters; and monsters are mean. Cecil unleashes a variety of attacks that kill any horde of aggressive enemy force in seconds, of course once you get control of Cecil he magically forgets how to do them and never remembers for the remainder of the game.



    Wow, impressive, I guess Cecil just improvised this once, this move would sure come in handy against those damn zombies you face 30 minutes later in the game.

    Cecil decides to ask the king why he's being ordered to kill off 70 year old men and women, so naturally, he's "relieved of his command" and given the task of hijacking an airplane and crashing it into the summoner village, oh wait, I mean delivering a package. I swear I always wanted to get the King in my party JUST once so I could go to Namingway and rename him "Osama". You'll want to pay close attention to the advice Kain gives you in the following sequence.



    I'm not sure who or what Kain is really referring to but I have reason to believe it's the priceless information of this man:



    There are a few other people in the castle that will give you information that is important also such as, "Value your life!" Once you're done trying to encode all of this useful information into your long term memory you can continue on to the first appearance of Cecil's side dish, Rosa. If you speed through this scene it's much more touching, but if you take your time with it... Well... Let's have a look.



    I'm not sure weather Cecil should be touched and thank her for being concerned or be totally offended and bash her face in with the side of his helmet. Nonetheless, Cecil knows from EXPERIENCE that there will be rewards for putting up with Rosa's mistranslated dialogue. He goes to sleep on his freshly changed sheets that night like a true bad-ass: In full dark knight AF armor. Dark Knights know no such thing as "comfort", they're soldiers. Anyway, after a pitiful conversation with Rosa and then himself you realize Cecil is like a big teddy bear inside. Either that or just a whining baby with lines like "I'm just a Dark Knight with no courage!"

    Before you head off in the morning, be sure to get some inspiration from this local.



    Oh yeah! A big grin will streak across the players face now. A true geek like me will even physically say out loud: "Well GUESS what!? WE ARE A TEAM BEYOTCH!" Unfortunately, however, this guy must have been too lost in his enthusiasm to consider the possibility that the duo would run into a merciless killing machine when they stepped foot out of town.

    ...Either that or an eagle.



    TO BE CONTINUED!
    (maybe)




    Last edited by Necronopticous; 05-10-2005 at 08:48 PM.

  2. #2
    HEIDEGGER SI MY BISHI!!!1 DJZen's Avatar
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    I just peed myself.....
    Last edited by DJZen; 10-31-2004 at 11:24 PM.

  3. #3
    Score: 0 out of 2 Dignified Pauper's Avatar
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    that was absolutely hillarious

  4. #4
    DADDY LOVES GFOTY Recognized Member Necronopticous's Avatar
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    I love Final Fantasy IV, maybe I'll do episode 2. The main problem is that I use a very limited free image host, would anyone be willing to host the images for this if I go on with it?

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    moorB A abrojtm's Avatar
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    xD *cracks up*

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    XD! That was the shiznat. I'd be glad to host these for you if you're willing to keep 'em coming.

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    DADDY LOVES GFOTY Recognized Member Necronopticous's Avatar
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    I might just take you up on the offer, however I think Devilmaykickass may handle it for me. There is definately more where this came from.

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    This is really good. And hilarious. I want more

    Moogle:
    1. Catlike creature. Has a large red ball on it's head attached by a long hair. Some can fly. Some can fight. Some are lazy bastards. All say Kupo (or Puu)

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    Ten-Year Vet Recognized Member Kawaii Ryűkishi's Avatar
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    http://norbert-x.com/rock/ for uploads.

    If you should get through even most of the game, be sure to include this scene, as well.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  10. #10
    Not a Banana Mo-Nercy's Avatar
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    *bows down to he with the long name*

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    Triple Triad Ace Ultima Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SephirothNL
    This is really good. And hilarious. I want more

  12. #12
    DADDY LOVES GFOTY Recognized Member Necronopticous's Avatar
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    Episode II is in pre-production.

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    Queen of the BushHags Takara's Avatar
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    ROFL! *high fives*

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    Oh noes! Venom65437's Avatar
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    GREAT stuff! Keep it up!

  15. #15
    DADDY LOVES GFOTY Recognized Member Necronopticous's Avatar
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    Episode II - "Al Queda, eat your heart out."

    Okay, so the guy wasn't actually too far off. Kain and Cecil really do make a pretty unstoppable force. In fact, for the next few hours of gameplay, consider yourself to be fighting a formidable opponent if they're able to hit Cecil for more than 2 damage. But this is getting ahead of ourselves, first of all, you have some very important business in the town outside of the castle.

    This business consists of walking around and harassing people for taxes as well as showing off that you're a studly Dark Knight. Expect comments such as "Your armor is so dark! Are you a bad guy?" and of course the very believable dialogue of this young lad.



    You're going to want to make sure to drop in to see Cid. Okay, actually he's sleeping and you'll only be able to get consistent strings of Z's, ellipses, and something about an engine out of him. But you can meet his daughter who will give a mouthful of words in no particular order "More all night work. He thinks he's young. Town folk speak ill of the soldiers and the king."

    Oh, and in case you're ever having an argument with Cid that concerns buoyancy or it's principles, give it up.



    Cid's got every end covered; I'll be he'd play a damn good game of Baulderdash... Okay, so before you take off be sure to check for items stashed in trashcans, bushes, and of course, floating in random spots in the water (Spoils from Cid's buoyancy experiments?).

    Think of entering the Misty Cave as getting on board an airplane and your weapons as box-cutters. The enemies will be like the passengers and flight staff that resist your hijacking, you can take most of them out with one or two swipes.

    I never quite understood this part, appearantly there is an invisible panel here that plays the following sound every time you step on it.



    I got stuck on this part for three weeks because I kept doing what it told me to do and I could never figure out why the game wasn't progressing. The trick is to do the opposite of what the recording tells you, tricky stuff.



    A monster at the end of a creepy cave full of mist? Not a chance! This question always reminds me of the "dead-f***ing-obvious" questions Steve used to ask the 3-year-olds on the Nickelodeon show, "Blue's Clues".

    At this point, you've succeeded in stealing the aircraft. Now it's time to face your final obstacle, DENSE CLOUDS!



    A boss that totally sucks, transforms in 2 minute intervals, and hits you with a strong area attack if you attack it while transformed. Why does this sound so familiar? Anyway, make sure to take great pleasure in killing D.Mist, it's not like you're killing someone's mother or anything.

    Once you maneuver through the clouds pilot over to Village Mist.



    CRASH!

    Congratulations you're now a full-fledged terrorist! Make sure to dispose of any survivors, for instance, this innocent girl.



    Watch out terrorists, it's George W. Bush! I mean Titan!



    TO BE CONTINUED!
    (probably)




    Last edited by Necronopticous; 11-04-2004 at 05:30 AM.

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