The most OMGWTFSARS-TASTIC Day Ever really

[Baloki]

So yes I gravely announce today being PG's Birthday, that of course means you'd all better be sprouting rubbish else you will upset him.

<big><center>OMGWTFSARSDAY - HAPPY - BIRTHDAY</center></big>

[escobert]

OMFG <3 Happy Birthday PG I'lll coem over dressed as a french maid and make your bed

[Flying Mullet]

So PG was squirted out today many years ago eh?

PG

[Cz]

It was more of a pop, but Hippy Barfday anyway, Pee Gee.

[Leeza]

Happy birthday, PG.

*gives PG much pieage*

[Denmark]

omgwtfsarsstdhobbitsex I like pie azn pride

[m4tt]

OMGHAPPYWTF2ULOLZ?

[Psychotic]

*steals Pg's pillow*

[Necronopticous]

Happy Birthday!

[Misfit]

*gives PG birthday goats*
*and goat cheese*
*and goat butter*
*and goat asl*
*and goat lol*
*and goat omfg*
*and goat wtf*

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY!

*and gives PG wings too, so he can fly with his goats*

[theundeadhero]

Happy Birthday! I'll come over in a mustard outfit and make a big mess everywhere. No rubbish sprouts here. Just broccalli sprouts. Broccalli and mustard, mmmmm!

[Brian The Pink Shark]

omg it's pg's birthday
hope you have a great day
have some cake and some lemonade
and maybe later you'll be getting laid
I wrote this poem just for you
to show how much i luv-a you(not really)
your 25 today good for you
12000 Squinn points for you :

congratulation big dude

[Peegee]

Happy Birthday, Dr Unne, Leezar, Big D, The Captain, Bert, Bonnie, RyRy, Sex Toy, Myles, Midget, Face, Psy, Denmark, Xandar, Lindz, Joel, Shoy, Lezzie, Spatty, Bleyz, Cid, Russel, Master ViVi, Doomy, Roo, Tara, AshMug, BooB....AGH, Aeris2001, any of the gamegurus crew left in EoFF, Arche, Del Murder, Cheffie, Samuraid, Spiffy, Protosexual, BingoDingobean, Skwoooooo, Daryl, Aaron, Balerkers, Graves, Webb, RainClouds, Jam Jam Jen, Mik, edqwerty, sephex, stroodlecaeks, Levian, Bagels, Nicceh Picceh, Spuukers, Mandy...oh man

I have too many online friends. I'm getting rid of half of you.

And now, a revelation (Crowd goes silent)

There was a really good chance that I was never around to curs...bless your lives with my presence. You see, when I was 'squirted out' twenty-five years ago, I had a brain anneurysm. Almost died right there on the operating table.

And Leezar, I'm catching up to you. I'm also growing up to be a very VERY cynical old man:

Now, a speech:

In the late 1980's when I was a stupid punk kid who had just been told I would get another brother, I took a calculator and subtracted 2000 (omg special year) from my birth year. 21. I was going to be 21 when the damn-ded 1900's were over. I looked upon the age of 21 as a marvel -- 21; adult; what would I be like? It was seen as an accomplishment of sorts -- to have lived more than two decades, to have lived to see two millenia (though now I am of the school of thought that 2001 is the start of the new millenia), two centuries, four decades. I, and many others my own age, lived to see many wars, to continue to see much struggle in the middle east, and we live our vapid and automatic lives waking up and going to sleep, eating and breathing, schooling and working. Forever and ever, reliving what my father, my grandfather, his grandfather, and so forth all the way back to Mainland China where some impressive military personnel once stood, also eating, sleeping, working, and died to propagate the ultimate goal of...what?

And so it hit me, before I had my first girlfriend, before I majored in philosophy, before I told myself not to worship women as earthly gods, before I became cynical, angry, contentious, misanthopic, misogynistic, before my jaded months: I refuse to do this any more. I will not add another child to this...system. And so I face the typical responses -- I'm probably gay. Our gay pals in EoFF would be proud to know that heterosexual women almost everywhere associate being a sexual loser with being gay. Why don't you try stopping that for a change?

When I was a kid the biggest struggle was the random bouts of racism. Now I'm faced with the culimation of feminism, and how it has raised a GENERATION of men who don't act like men. We call them "gentle" men, and for once, aptly met. A gentleman is a relic of romanticism. He is to be refined, and refinement does not come from grovelling at a woman's foot, begging for approval. Whenever *I* was called a gentleman I merely acted not as a child. Nowadays I'm just called a jerk. Why? Nine times out of ten it is due to me not doing the bidding of a woman. The other time...I'm just a jerk :D

I couldn't possibly raise a child to adulthood in this day and age. I would raise my child to value his own devices more than others, to never EVER give precidence to another person's whims (the prime motivation of asking without giving is greed) or just the fact that the person asking is female. And I would try to teach the child everything I have come to known about how people behave, to adapt and succeed over their attempts to climb over yet another child. And why should I do this? Why not just spawn another child and let it loose in the world? Why shouldn't I teach my child how to avoid being another meal ticket? Too Kantian?

"Sorry son, you can't defend yourself against bullies and women -- it's too Kantian"
"But dad...it's emotionally scarring me!"
"Well maybe you'll actually learn from dad and not have a kid this time"

I believe it's all anthropocentric anyway. Some people insist that it isn't -- that if all humans just died today, there would still be morals and ethics, and table manners and that treating women like sex tools for your pleasure is wrong, that using men's attraction towards you and the centuries of chivalry to create a system where men have to 'pay' to marry a woman is still wrong....even though the only animals left are dolphins and elephants and piggies and other dumber things that couldn't possibly comprehend all this. Hah. And before life, before sentience, there was still meaning in the universe?

But I'm being bland and stupid. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! FREE SEX AND PORN ALL AROUND! NOBODY'S ALLOWED TO FROWN!

[Faris]

[Tokki Wartooth]

What the hell was that? >:( I didn't read it. I hope you didn't either.

Edit: You majored in philosophy? *hi5*