Oh hurray! I always love teacher threads on EoFF because I get to share the same old stories about my Australian ex-graphics teacher

T: Do you know what I'd like to do?
P: No, and I'm guessing I don't really want to.
T: *grabs big long wooden ruler...probably a metre long* I'd like to GRAB this and WRAP it around your NECK!
P: OK, but that's illegal.
T: Yeah, Yeah it is!

Bless 'im. He also came out with such great things as "YOU'RE ALL OSTRICHES! YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND!!!!!!!!!"