Yuffie : See a shrink about your cleptomania
Setzer: See a shrink about your gambling problem
Kefka : Just see a shrink
Shadow: Get a slightly larger, more menacing dog
Celes : Stop using Rosas sprites from ff4
Barret: Figure out what happened to the rest of your buddies from the a-team (By the by, did it jump out at anyone else that barret looks like mr T, and avalanche was a team of four members who's name started with an A?)
Edward/Gilbert: hit a gym, and decide on a cool new name, like Rico.