Married with children=The best tv series of all time,bar none
Al Bundy=The ultimate God of the Universe

Then this woman comes in who doesn't speak English. She points at the shoes, I point at the door. She points at the sky and then knees me in the nay-nays!"

"Let me explain. It’s just like an elevator. There’s a 2 ton weight limit on those shoes..."

"A customer walks into the shoestore today. A tall willowy brunette. She sits down and asks to try on a pair of size 12 pumps. So I sit down there, doing my business and I notice she's wearing a garter belt whick I like. All the time she'd smiling at me. Suddenly she uncrosses her legs like in Basic Instinct..... It was a guy!!!"

"A fat woman walked into the shoe store today. She was so fat, she had three smaller women orbiting around her."

"A woman comes into the shoestore today, so huge she's protected by GreenPeace. She asked for a pair of sixe 4 so I asked if she'd eat them here or take them home. Then she has the nerver to complain about my performnce!"

"A fat woman godzillas into the shoe store today, she asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggest she wear a sign that says "Don't shoot! From the front I look human!"."

“A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world’s largest, ugliest tree!”

A little kid and his mum are in the store. The kid says "I want a balloon" and Al replies (looking at the fat mother) "You've already got one!".

"Then a woman comes into the store, with a crocked nose and asked for something that will make her pretty. I told her that it will take a long time until someone that ugly to come and stand near her"


Psycho Dad

Who's that riding into the sun.
Who's the man with the itchy gun.
Who's the man who kills for fun !

Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad !

He's quick with a gun, but he loves his son.
Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton... Psycho Dad !

Psycho Dad - New Theme Song

A little touched or so we're told.
Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold.
Might as well, she was gettin' old.

Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.

He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done.
Killed his wife by twenty-one, he's Psy-cho Dad !

The Psycho Dad Christmas Episode

Who's that riding in the sleigh.
Who's that firing along the way.
Who's got the most popped on christmas day ?

Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.


The New Adventures Of Psycho Dad

Who is the tall, dark stranger there.
The one with the gun and the icy stare.
The one with the scalp of his ex-wife's hair.

Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad !

He's a durn good pa, but he hates the law.
He's likes to eat it raw, Psycho Dad !


The New Adventures Of Psycho Dad 2

Who's that ridin' across the plain.
Who's lost count of the wives he's slain.
Who is the man who's plum insane !

Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad !