Man Chris, I don't know you, but I do feel your pain as well.

I have lost many family members to cancer and heart failure, I only what 24, and there is only one generation left ahead of me.

However, I may not be able to relate to the same extent as you, as I haven't lost a sibling to death. However I can say that I too wasn't sadden by their deaths. I knew that their suffering was over, and for that I was glad. Now, I do miss them, and am sad that they are not here with me anymore, but I never thought their death was a horrible thing, so I would think it's a normal way to feel.

My thoughts are with you, I am hoping you can stop feeling guilty over this. I know it's a tough time, but it's not your fault, nor is it bad to be glad that his suffering is over.