Anything I'll say here is a repition of what others have said Chris. But I am truly sorry for your loss. You will get through it though. He has gone on to a better place where there is no suffering, so there is no need to feel guilty about being happy about that. Where he is now, he wouldnt want you to feel guilty about it.
amra
Sorry Chris. I know how hard it is to lose someone very close to you. At least you know he's off in a better place, and you can accept that.
Be comforted in knowing that his suffering has ended, and that where he has gone there is no pain, only everlasting love. You are grieving for him in a way. You have accepted his death as a release, and are taking solace in those thoughts.
It is a good idea for you to write down your thoughts and feelings, and also your memories of your brother and what he has given to you, taught you and how he has affected your life. Encourage others to do the same too, as it will help you work through the grieving process.
Also, when you are going through the process of grieving, the state you are in will change. Doing as I have suggested could bring on a flood of emotions and memories which you should prepare for that they do not overwhelm you.
Be at peace. And be there for your family.
We don't grieve because our loved one has died, we grieve because they have gone where we cannot follow, and we will miss them in this life until the next.
Last edited by goblin42; 02-11-2005 at 02:48 PM.
Things happen, and we lament, and finally reach our last catharsis with one final weeping tear before we finally are over it.
It takes time and action to realize what actually has happened, and how different things will be, but in the end, we all will come to realize that such is life, and that when we prosper, it is we who triumph.
"Hard times don't endure; Hard people do"
-My Room-mates Drill Seargent
I think it's very commendable that you feel the way you do chris, because it's important that when you lose someone dear to you, that you see the potential positives in the midst of the negatives. The clear positives in this case are that your brother was in pain and was not living with a satisfactory quality of life, but is now at peace. All we can do is hope he is in a better place, and be happy that the suffering he endured has now ended.
Keep strong.
[center] I Painted My Own Mona Lisa
She's Fixed Everything
Now I'm Spoilt Beyond My Wildest Dreams [center]
Well, I don't think I've ever spoke to you Chris, But, like verybody else I offer my condolences.
I don't think you are a bad person at all, When I found out my cousin was dying from lukemia I didn't cry, because I sort of had already come to that conclusion. Also, I did not cry muhc when my Great-Grandma died, even though I loved her, I knew sooner or later she would pass away.
And, this may not be much help, but at least you know you had the chance to say goodbye, and his death did not come as a shock. My aunty died in a car crash, I think her death has affected me most out the people I have written about, this is because I never got to say goodbye- I think this is an important thing to be able to do.
Last edited by Little Miss Awesome; 02-11-2005 at 05:23 PM. Reason: Spelling Error
Man Chris, I don't know you, but I do feel your pain as well.
I have lost many family members to cancer and heart failure, I only what 24, and there is only one generation left ahead of me.
However, I may not be able to relate to the same extent as you, as I haven't lost a sibling to death. However I can say that I too wasn't sadden by their deaths. I knew that their suffering was over, and for that I was glad. Now, I do miss them, and am sad that they are not here with me anymore, but I never thought their death was a horrible thing, so I would think it's a normal way to feel.
My thoughts are with you, I am hoping you can stop feeling guilty over this. I know it's a tough time, but it's not your fault, nor is it bad to be glad that his suffering is over.
You say you want to hear the truth? I say that you are lying! You do not want the truth. Instead you want to hear a well crafted lie mixed with half truths that you find more appealing than the real truth.
The Legend of Mythus
Thanks to all of you.
It's nice to know that you care
I've only read the first post, but my God, Chris, I'm sorry about all of this.*hugs* You take care, alright? And I sort-of know what you mean about the not being sad thing... everyone deals with death in their own way, and maybe this is yours. As you said, if he's without pain now, at least he's been able to move on from that...
I hope you and your family will be okay. You'll be in my thoughts.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
May he rest in peace. And I'm sure that he's more happy in death, now that he's free from the suffering.
I'm very sorry about this. Cancer is bad stuff. I wish you and your family the best of things to come.
Be at peace, younger brother of Chris.
That's so sad... I feel bad. Rest in Peace...
so sad
i feel bad..i'll be praying for you and i hope ur lost oved one is in a better place......
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