I don't think the question was a fair one. How can you write a REview of it...sorry I dont mean to be nitpicky. I just dont think the question was fair.
I don't think the question was a fair one. How can you write a REview of it...sorry I dont mean to be nitpicky. I just dont think the question was fair.
It's a fictional review - in other words, you're writing it pretending it's been released and you've seen the whole thing, or something. We asked EB after C_S got a bit confused by his question.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Oh...ok I didnt know that. I wouldnt have written what I had if I'd known. I guess I should have just asked for clarification. Oh well.
Don't worry. I actually answered the questions they gave me. I've shamed the face of my Unne.
I wrote my review by what was already known about the movie. I dont think Id have written it much differently if I had seen it.
WHOOPIE! Way to go boris no no!!! That was easily the most informative answer in the FFIX category. *hugs and runs away* Yay!!! FP3!!!!!!!!!! (Fluffy Pink Party Power!)
I couldn't bring myself to read Destai's answer. It was too long. I'm lazy.
Actually, Destai's answer was quite good ^_^
Wat
is
going
on
wtf
rawr
Yay! Destai, yay! Ace!
I read "FF7" when EB posted, and I got excited. Then I read the "DOC" after it, and my excitement waned. Then I scanned over Destai's review, and I was quite happy; it was really very good.
Good job, everyone.
Thanks you guys but I really did over do it on a movie thats not even out yet ^^. Ive broken the review up in catagories but didnt think to labell them. You can probably tell by the first line of each paragraph.
First big paragraph is looking at FFVII
2nd is Summarizing what is AC
3rd is Ac's story
4th is CGI
5th is Music
6th is Action
If I wasnt so tired after writing it Id have put ratings and labels on them but what ya gonna do :rolleyes2
chaos: I'm going through this thread right now, although, good luck to all those who participated.
I love being confusing
Dr.K (representing the BAotW party):Summarize the events of the four possible Gold Saucer dates (Aeris, Tifa, Yuffie, Barrett). Explain which is your favorite and why.
In order to enable Cloud to date a certain character, it is required that he be civil to only that character, and that he treats all other characters as if they were leftover sushi left outside to cook in the sun. For Yuffie, it is required you complete both Wutai side quests as well as this. For Barrett, well...if you're that desperate, try and find out
Aeris: - Aeris and Cloud take a trip on a gold saucer ride, where Aeris gives him a psychological going over. "I'm searching for you Cloud", she exclaims, intrigued, and tries to get inside his head. He has none of it, but still, she doesn't get the hint, and in the end, the date fails, as Aeris is still alive and, even worse, still able to unleash her relentless drivel on the world.
Yuffie: - Cloud and Yuffie go to the hidden Gold Saucer McDonalds, and upon arrival, Yuffie complains at the lack of contemporary cutlery. Cloud, thankfully a master of metallic origami, moulds her 4-point shuriken into a full dinner set, showing he too can "do the ninja thang". He then orders her a fillet o' fish, telling her "It's like sushi, but cooked", at which Yuffie chortles, exclaims her secret love for Barry Manilow, and tells Cloud he is the "biggest twonking laugh since Des O' Connor was on the radio".
Tifa: - Tifa suggests her and Cloud "do something naughty", at which Cloud suggests a game of hide and seek. Tifa then retracts, telling Cloud she was thinking of something "slightly less physical". Cloud then suggests they sneak into the battle square to investigate "where in the golly gosh that unending supply of monsters comes from". Their sneaking in is successful, however, when Tifa mentions that stuffed crust "pwns so much more than deep pan base at pizza hut", Cloud is whipped into a frenzy, and pushes Tifa down the large staircase, telling her she will "feel the wrath of Colonel Sanders eventually". Poor guy.
Barrett - Strangely, for this date, a large 'CENSORED' appeared on my screen for 10 minutes, after which Barrett concludes to Cloud, "yep - my systolic hypertension is really just psychological after all - thanks dude!". And they told me the Luxembourgian directors cut had BONUS material. *Sigh*
My favourite would probably be Aeris' date, as that's the only one which involved a ride
Mindflare (representing the #eoff party):
In my 4 trips through FF7, I have always favored Aeris over Tifa, Yuffie, and Barret. Therefore, I've only ever went on the date with Aeris. On that date, Cloud and Aeris go on the gondola, and participate in a short play, where Alfred (Cloud) saves the princess (Aeris) from the Evil Dragon King, or some sort like that. This play holds a good bit of foreshadowing in it. Fun to watch, and decide how things work out.
Jojo (representing the Fluffy Pink party):
The events don't matter, the people matter.
Aeris is pink.
Tifa is fluffy.
Yuffie = that's illegal! = Kishi.
Barret = ow, ow, baby! Plus he has a big gun ^_^
Cloud could look like this... ie, hot
So why do all the dates have to involve Cloud?My favorite Gold Saucer date is Tifa x Aeris, because they are hot and because they are Fluffy x Pink = Fluffy Pink party. We will make your wildest dreams come true.
PS. But if I had to pick one involving Cloud, I would pick the date with Yuffie, because I like illegal stuff and Kishi's pretty cool too. ^_^
PenguinsAttack! (representing the Elitist party):
Aeris dies at the end.
Tifa gets a breast reduction and a loud prepubescent groan is heard around the world.
Yuffie steals all your materia.
Barret comes out of the closet, touches Cloud's no-no area, and the rest is history.
My favorite is the Aeris date.
SePhO_zO (representing the Ace party):
Witnessing all four Gold Saucer dates is a task that requires playing through the game multiple times and employing precise decision making, and is something that very few fans can say they've accomplished.
I am… not one of those fans.
BUT, with the help of ePSXe and an MCR file I ripped off of some random website, I am here to ensure that no one ever has to endure this painstaking exercise EVER again. Here is a brief, yet fulfilling, summary of the four Gold Saucer dates so that you don't have to bother with such nonsense. I'm such a helpful guy:
Tifa
The Aeris and Tifa dates are easily the most common. If you've seen neither, you're either playing the wrong game, or your dialog choices somehow reflect your secret, homoerotic fantasies about large, black men or the time you spend daydreaming about Japanese school girls (both of which are understandable, the latter more so). Tifa's date goes a little something like this:
Cloud is practicing his "Indifferent face" when Tifa inconsiderately barges into his room and asks to go for a little walk. The twosome end up going to the Event Square where, suprise, they've won some sort of door prize competition (because they're the main characters and the 99 previous couples were NPCs), and are asked to star in a play. Tifa could not fit into her costume because of issues with certain features of her body, so she winged it in the ol' suspenders and white tank top getup. Cloud is having an equally tough time trying to tackle lines that required him to employ emotion and put emphasis on certain words and syllables. Needless to say, any applause they receive is only out of charity and sympathy.
Following their attempts at winning on Oscar, they shuttle off to the Round Square and take a ride on the gondola. Reminiscing about the old days in Nibelheim ensues, and Tifa may or may not express her feelings towards Cloud. Frankly, I don't remember. I do, however, remember that Cloud appeared to be too deep in thought to possibly have heard a single word that Tifa says. My interpretation is that Cloud is trying to remember whether he was running low on Aquanet©. Whatever the case, the conclusion is that Cloud has his head too far up his own arse to pay any attention to what Tifa has to say.
Aeris
Cloud has not yet gone to sleep because he has come to the conclusion that sleeping is neither "cool" or "cold". Instead, he's wide awake, pondering whether he wants his Ultima Weapon in Ebony or Blue Velvet, so he's not startled when Aeris walks in and reminds him that she owes him a date. He's suprised, not because he didn't think she'd actually hold to their bargain, but because he wasn't paying attention to her when she made the promise and now has no idea what she's talking about. He wants to show off his new vest anyway, so he goes along with it.
They find themselves at the Event Square before too long, and alas, they're in the play. Cloud swears he had to go through this crap with Tifa on the first playthrough, but he keeps this remark to himself. He suffers through the play, and is relieved when Aeris drags him on a gondola ride, because it gives him a chance to brood. During the ride, Aeris jokes around with Cloud a little bit, but we witness no response from Cloud. This is either because he can't comprehend what exactly a "joke" is, or because he has his head stuck too far up his own arse to realise that there's another person in the gondola with him.
Yuffie
I simply cannot describe, with mere words, the profound emotional depth of the beginning scene of this particular date, but I will try my best to elaborate:
Yuffie comes in, says "Hey Cloud, how about you keep me company?" or something or other. To this, Cloud replies with a heartfelt "Sure". And thus, the fairy tale date begins. To be completely honest, I'm not sure if Cloud even agreed to such a date, but Yuffie is alone, and she's not having it.
At this point, I'm certain that Yuffie has materia on the brain. Why have I come to this conclusion? Because she's Yuffie, and she's awake (which clearly means that she's not sleeping). What does this have to do with the date, you ask? Why nothing, silly! But it's not as if Cloud doesn't have his head too far up his own arse to realise it anyway. Whether she steals every piece of materia in his possession or plants a big, sloppy, wet one on his left cheek (SPOILER!), he's got more important things to worry about. Like making sure his new Oakleys have arrived on time, and whether or not a goatee would further contribute to his badassitude.
Barret
Cloud is in the middle of writing a letter to Rufus Shinra, commenting him on his overcoat but recommending that he should have chosen a darker color (say, "Midnight Blue," or "Deep Crimson" - preferably the former, but take your pick), when Barret interrupts with a knock on the door. Cloud probably would be taken aback at the scene of a seemingly closet homosexual version of Barret asking him on a date, but, you guessed it, he has his head stuck much, much too far up his own arse to discern that Barret is gay. Or that he's black. Or that he has a freaking gun for a right hand. Or that he's standing right next to him, for that matter.
Cloud leaves the hotel with Barret, not because he thinks he's on a date, but because he believes he's on a mission and that he's going to get a considerable amount of Gil for it. He'll spend that money on a new pair of boots, no doubt. Cloud and Barret enter the familiar Event Square, but leave almost as fast when the doorperson fails to recognize them as a couple. Dio, CEO of Gold Saucer Inc., is clearly a homophobe of the highest degree, and only hires employees that are equally as homophobic. Somehow, though, the employee running the gondola at the Round Square seemingly got past his radar - he lets Cloud and Barret ride for free.
During the ride, it becomes evident that Barret is having second thoughts about whether he is fully comfortable with his own sexuality. He even takes it on Cloud by asking Cloud how he dragged him into this gondola thing. I would feel sorry for Cloud at this point, for the abuse he has to absorb, but he isn't paying attention anyway. Around the time that Barret is screaming obscenities at him, Cloud is just noticing that a certain part of the Gold Saucer holds a striking resemblance to a great, big Gil coin.
To sum it up, the dates accomplish absolutely notta.
Hotshotsguy (representing the Anti-Eoff party):
EoFF sucks!
go jojo!
whoooooo!
Trust No one
Nice work SepohO z0.
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