I personally prefer your DeathDealer over your Croft because the picture looks like you have a good (very good if you were 12) control of your pencil. Thats the thing that takes alot of practise for most people and you either have it when your born or you dont.
I admit, i carnt remember what franks original looked like, but it doesnt matter because yours stands out on it's own. It's personal preferance weather people like a lighter picture, or they like the deep heavy shading you have done - have you seen Mike Mignolas work, very dark and bold use of shadow. Some might not like that heavy shading but i think it suits the style your developing
The bit i like the best is the birds in the corner and the breath coming from the hoarses mouth (or noose lol), it's those little elements that can give a picture motion.

For me, one of the best parts of your Croft picture is the Lips because Jolie has whopping lips and they LOOK like hers, only you know if thats good or not. I cannot say you got anything wrong because i have been looking through my old Todd Mcfarlane Spiderman issues and gee, he drew some terrible pictures but they sold well What i can say is that through personal experiance, i think your still searching for your own style, like a singer searchs for their own voice. Some parts of your drawing come across more confidently than others, thats not a weakness, it me comparing what you got out of the DeathDealer image compared to the Croft one. I personally like smooth lines and Crofts arms arent smooth, but then neather are FrankMillers and he created BatMan dark knight returns. Your deathdealer is coverd in smooth lines.

have you considerd Inking?