Quote Originally Posted by The Captain
"Your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries."
<3

If you're going to go after someone's mother I like the following:
"Your momma's like a light switch, even a four year old can turn her on."
"Your momma's like a hardware store, 5 cents a screw."
"Your momma's like a broken vacuum cleaner, she sucks and blows."