Maybe you could post the contents of the PM's? Doing that will allow us to see what you guys are really talking about. Both sides are obviously going to have a bias, so if you posted what was said in the PM it would help us all who are in the dark.
(Of course, if there are things that were said that you would prefer us not to hear then don't post them.)
I just didn't see any problem with trying to be friendly............
And you want to know why it was mostly girls?Well, it's not because i'm hitting on you, anyone of my friends here could tell you that!!! It's because you are friendly,and guys are too stuck-up to show there "sensitive side", so I prefer talking to girls. Anybody have any problems with me doing that? Probably, but I don't care about your rude coments.
There seems to be a lot of back and forth, but I think it would be wise for all involved to take minute or two and assess the situation a bit. It seems that mistakes or at least things were said on both sides that were misunderstood, so perhaps let's try to take it slow and figure out a solution that can benefit everyone involved here.
I don't quite know what exactly is going on here, but I'd be happy to do my best to help if someone can perhaps clue me in.
Take care all.
He wanted to know my feelings on him loving me or something, and I didn't say that I was creeped out, so I really just said a random thing ("toy" to be exact) and this was his reply:
" Say hello to my ignore list! cold hearted bi.........."
Also, his first PM to me was...
"your pictures are scary"
Gee thanks, Nathie.
Same here brother. What is the problem with being friendly??Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
It would seem then, that this problem arises in the directness of the conversation? Asking someone right off the bat whether they might have any sort of feelings toward them can be taken in several contexts to be sure, and usually not in the way it was intended to.
In my experiences, it's fine to strike up a conversation with someone but get to know them first before you attempt to assume anything about them.
Take care all.
Right, he PM'd me, asking if we could be friends, thats it, and just started saying "Whats up" and "how are you" etc. And I dont even know him atall. I very politely said that I didnt think this would be possible, just acting friends with someone I dont even know, and he started saying "Oh I'm upset now" and things like that, saying I was making this "big deal" about everything. And he became just rather childish and half-insulting. He said, if I could give him 3 reasons why PM'ing ppl he didnt know and asking for friendship was a bad idea, he would leave me alone. I gave him 4. He DIDNT leave me alone. Just wrote back saying how he'd reply soon and that I WOULD agre with him. Sorry but I just dont like being told what to think and say, so at that point I'll admit to getting abit miffed and saying some rather nasty things back. But he completely deserved it.
I know LWL is fairly young, but does he not realize that no-one just randomly PM's ppl they dont know and ask's "Hey can I be your friend" Because it will only make ppl feel uncomfortable. But he wouldnt listen to me.
deffination of friendly?
a few girls on this site are under 15 and may feel threatened when a guy seems to show interest.
from what i can tell LWL has pmed a few people saying hi etc. some people have said no thankyou and hes got mad.I don't quite know what exactly is going on here, but I'd be happy to do my best to help if someone can perhaps clue me in.
some of his pms may have been rude, i don't know.
LWL you really need to CALM down. same with the rest of us i suppose.
Trust No one
Hmm, it definitely does seem like there was a degree of comfort that was broken to start with, which could greatly enhance this problem.
Being friendly is fine, but there are certain ways to approach it. Friends are made through mutual trust, experiences and understanding, which can often take time. If you do value someone and want them to be your friend, you'll make the time and not try to rush through the process of getting to know someone.
Take care all.
AH! Captain! This is one of the points I made to him, in almost exactly the same wording too! Hang on I'll go post it.
EDIT - 3.3. It feels like you're trying to cut out the hard work aspect of becoming friends with someone. One of things about friendship is that you EARN someone's trust and respect *gradually*, you like them and they start to like you. You like the same things, .etc. You cant just go up to someone and basically say "Hey lets skip the getting to know eachother part of a friendship that takes MONTHS, and just act like we're friends allready?" It doesnt work like that in real life and I'm sure you know this. A friendship is built up gradually through situations and conversations. You cant just skip things and say "Hey be my friend" Its like....cheating or something.
Uh, crash? read the post before your one. That is NOT being friendly, by *anyone's* standards
Last edited by amratis; 03-22-2005 at 10:08 PM.
Very well stated.
I take it the response to this was not one of complete acknowledgement or understanding?
In the end, I think that part of the problem is that, especially over the computer, it can seem both very hard and very easy to connect with other people. Sometimes, it seems like a person can make friends just by posting whilst others seem to always be alone or out of the loop which can be very frustrating. The important thing to keep in mind is that most of the people who post here became friends not overnight, but by doing what amratis posted, through conversation and shared experiences. Friendships over the internet tend to take a bit longer to develop because it's usually through words on a page, but if you pace yourself and really try to listen to the other person, find out who they are, what they're all about and the like, you can connect and in many cases, the friendships will endure.
Take care all.
well said captain and amra.
i think that this should be closed before anyone starts really getting mad...
Trust No one
............... I give up, give yourselves a big pat on the back, you win. (what you win, I don't know)Just take pride in knowing "You over exagerate things against a pathetic loser 14 year old" Wow, that must have been hard. Like I said, I give up.It's obvious people think i'm creepy, and in the case where no one has room to talk?Including myself.
NO Rye I don't like you that way, i've said it repeatedly
Well, your PMs say otherwise:
LWL: I LOVE Y........................ nevermind!
Me:Yevon?
LWL: you!
do not take everything so personally.
we didn't win anything. we're just all stating that some of us do not like to be pmed and if we wanted to start a friendship we would. sorry LWL but you realy need to understand that alot of people here just want to post in the forums not get pmed all the time.
i really think a mod should close this.
we've all said that needs to be said
Trust No one
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