my brother's girlfriend is an ogre

[Nod]

Get a pitchfork and sharpened sticks. That's how I beat off an ogre that was eating my livestock!


...OK it was just a cat that was in my garden. And I didn't get a pitchfork or sharpened sticks, I just walked towards it and it ran away. But it's the same principle!

a sound principle at that.

omg dude ur sooooo shallow.
whatever, call the travelling circus and tell them one of their freaks has escaped. they'll be along to pick her up in no time!!!!!

edit: that was a joke