
Originally Posted by
Psychotic
OK here you go, it's one I whipped up earlier. You might want to triple space it.
A civil engineeering dissertation on the effects and investigation of contaminated land
By Goku "Admiral Smooth" fusionss1
Land can be defined in many ways, such as England, Ireland, the Land of Nod and LAND HO! But perhaps it is not the definition of land that must be cross-referenced against the sum of all fears, which may or may not be twelve. But maybe if an elephant were to eat some buns, it would announce that it liked them if it held the vocal, verbal and lexical capacity to do this.
When land is contaminated, it is not only contam, but ated also. Perhaps looking at contam will cause many factors not factored into a factory, but it is only a possibilty that could potentially be overlooked, especially when one is purchasing a large slice of the real estate pie. The real estate pie is filled with investmenty goodness, and perhaps an outer crust of the media investment, DIY and property boom, fuelled by the fires of avalon.
It may or may not be true that most citizens consider post-contaminated land to be a magical and wonderous thing, but this is a crucial element when it comes to a decision based on all of the many elements that have come together to form the contamination. Maybe there will be no french fries left at the fast food restaurant when you get there! This could be perceived by many experts as an anomaly, or a metaphor at best.
What then, can the future hold for land that could possibly have been contaminated by contaminations unknown to man? George W. Bush is the answer to this. Nostradamus foresaw George W. Bush as the ninth hero of the world. Indeed if you examine his name closely, you will find that by removing some letters and adding some letters, it reads "I AM THE NINTH HERO OF THE WORLD". It is hoped that his magic and quick-wristed abilities will save not only the game, not only the day, not only the goal, but the contaminated land.
In conclusion, when is contaminated land a duck? The answer is simple. When it has feathers and quacks, because these are undoubtedly characteristics that all ducks should possess. Ducks are nice. When you pat them on the head they don't try to bite you unless they are hungry, but the ducks' collective hunger can easily be resolved by giving them a sandwich or three.