You smurf with mongooses, I'll smurf you up so hard. BWA! :MEGAGLARE:

I'd invent nanosurgery robots that would replace conventional surgery and can be directed to heal any wound in my body, cure any disease, or augment any physical or mental abilities. Then I'd be superhuman. Oh wait, I'm already working on making that a reality.

In that case, I'd go with a teleportation thing. Or a rad flying car.

Or better yet, I'll make a random Vin Diesel Fact Generator.