Columbus, Ohio.

That's one of the biggest cities I ever went to. The only thing that almost shot my vacation to Hell was when my sis was yelled at by this dick of a restaurant manager, just because her son screamed during a hockey game.

I should've gone up to the manager, grabbed his shirt, and said, "Oh, how dare a 1-year-old be scared in a room full of strangers! How dare he interrupt your precious hockey game! Give me one reason I shouldn't beat you down, Captain Fruitloop!" But, my sis asked me not to split any wigs, so I walked away, flipping the owner off with a double-deuce. And that was my first day.