Hi guys, Award Guy asked me to do these descriptions because, and I quote, he's "got some hot sisters to take care of, if ya know what I mean" I don't know what he means, and I don't WANT to know! But as he's going to take one and a half hours to do this award, you can spend that time reading the following nonsense.
Big D
Big D is very much a punk rocker. He lists his favourite bands as being Good Charlotte and Blink 182, and he wouldn't say no to a nice bit (If such a thing exists) of Avril Lavigne either. You can usually find him at the local skate park, or bouncing away in the mosh pit like the wild thing that he is. Most importantly, he rejects you and everything that you stand for!
Del Murder
After losing his award to BoB last year, Del wants vengeance, and this time, IT'S PERSONAL! He's been training hard, his training mostly consisting of musical montages of him hitting a punching bag and skipping, and now he's ready to take back what is rightfully his.
Sounds like trouble to me!
Iri Valentine
Beautiful, talented, and funny. Surely no-one can be
that perfect! There has to be SOMETHING wrong with her, right? Well, there is. She's secretly a martian robotic paedophile and treasurer of the Ronald Reagan Appreciation Society. Oh yes. The skeletons are out of the closet now, Iri!
Jebus
Jebus is a bowling champion, and he absolutely loves the music of John Denver, as shown by his victory in the Arkansas John Denver Lookalike Contest 2001. Random Jebus fact: He is one of the few internet people to make me laugh out loud by exclaiming "OH MY GOD CHIMES WHAT THE HELL?" which he did yesterday. Or yesteryesterday for you crazy future folk.
Loony BoB
I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret. Loony BoB is Award Guy! Hasn't it occurred to you all that he could just claim he had won without getting any votes? Because that's what goes on, my friends! Fight the power! PS: Del, you can always use this as an excuse for when you lose to this guy. I don't charge. Much.
Monkey
Ew.
Psychotic
If I've been asked to write this, then I guess I haven't won. But don't worry, because deep down inside, we all know I am the best, right guys? ...guys?
Oh well, thanks for not voting for me, jerks! See if you're on my Christmas card list next year!
Resha
Resha is an international drug dealer and thug. She regularly pushes old women down escalators then spits in their faces. She likes to put voles in paper shredders. She raped Meat Puppet. Why? BECAUSE SHE'S BAD! SHE'S EVIL! SHE'S A REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE! But will this bad girl win over the hearts of the voters?
RSL
I couldn't think of anything to write about RSL, so here's something from my personal stash:
Now you can see why RSL (which, of course, stands for Red Sexy Lingerie) picked up votes for both Sexiest Male and Sexiest Female! (And why I didn't get any for Best Graphic Artist...)
ShlupQuack
One time, this newbie PMed me and asked me if Shlup was hot. I responded that she keeps men in cages in her basement and likes to feed them spaghetti. The newbie didn't PM me back. I think there's a moral to be learned there. Anyway, if Shlup wins this, she and her boyfriend Raistlin will celebrate with a hot, passionate...flamewar. It's like foreplay for those two.
Super Christ
Upon learning he had been nominated for this, Super Christ wondered how this had happened. But when you think about it, it's quite easy: Not only is he a superhero, but he's the messiah as well! To be honest, I think this is quite unfair. BAD SUPER CHRIST! BAD!
The Captain
I just don't get what is up with The Captain. He's just too nice to be human. There has got to be a genetic flaw somewhere. Seriously, I bet if someone (Resha?) mugged him, he would happily fork over his wallet, phone and false nails (Don't ask), drive them home, and then say "Take care!" afterwards.
Originally Posted by Del Murder
As for Most Helpful Gamer, I was tied there with Big D, and Squall of Seed still got more votes than Big D and I.
Wat
is
going
on
wtf
rawr
Posting Permissions
