Oh God. This is exactly the kind of thread I need to occupy me for a while. time to break out the imdb quotes pages.
Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Achoo: Hey, Blinkin!
Blinkin: Did you say "Abe Lincoln"?
[Blinkin, the blind man, is up in a perch looking out for strangers]
Robin Hood: Blinkin! What are you doing?
Blinkin: Guessing. I guess no one's coming...
Blinkin: Oh Master Robin!
[hugging a replica statue of the Venus de Milo]
Blinkin: You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs.
Robin Hood: Blinkin, I'm over here.
Prince John: And why would the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.
Blinkin: This never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while - oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My three brothers?
Blinkin: Died of the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog Pogo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?
Robin Hood: And who might you be?
Little John: Oh, they call me Little John. But don't let my name fool you. In real life, I'm very big.
Robin Hood: I'll take your word for it.
Robin Hood: I lost. I lost? Wait a minute, I'm not supposed to lose. Let me see the script.
Robin Hood: This is Ahchoo.
Little John: Bless you!
Achoo: That's my name, man!
Robin Hood: This is Ahchoo.
Blinkin: A Jew? Here?
Robin Hood: No no, not a Jew. Ahchoo.
[after falling from a tree]
Blinkin: I can see!
[runs right into another tree]
Blinkin: Nope, I was wrong.
Abbot: We are here to witness the marriage, of Mervin, the Sheriff of... Mervin? Your name is Mervin?
Sheriff of Rottingham: Yes! Yes get on with it.
Abbot: OK... Mervin.
Merry Men: We're men, we're men in tights / We roam around the forest looking for fights / We're men, we're men in tights / We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! / We may look like sissies / But watch what you say, or else we'll put out your lights / We're men, we're men in tights / Always on guard, defending the people's rights.
Sheriff of Rottingham: [taking off his leather glove and slapping Robin with it] I challenge you to a duel.
Robin Hood: [picking an iron gauntlet up from the dinner table and smacking Rottingham across the face with it, knocking him down] I accept!
Robin Hood: [first meeting Blinkin the blind servent] BLINKIN!
Robin Hood: Master Robin, Is that you?
Robin Hood: Yes.
Blinkin: What back from the Crusades?
Robin Hood: Yes.
Blinkin: And alive?
Robin Hood: [pause] yes.
Shaun of the Dead
[regarding Shaun's stepdad, who he hates]
Shaun: Did you know that on several occasion... he touched me?
Barbara: [long pause as Barbara turns to look at Shaun]
Shaun: That wasn't true. Made it up, shouldn't have, sorry.
[looking through Shaun's LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]
Ed: Purple Rain.
Shaun: No.
Ed: Sign o' the Times.
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The Batman soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Pete: It's four in the smurfing morning!
Shaun: It's Saturday!
Pete: No, it's not. It's smurfing Sunday. And I've got to go to smurfing work in four smurfing hours 'cos every other smurfer in my smurfing department is smurfing ill! Now can you see why I'm SO smurfING ANGRY?
Ed: smurf, yeah!
Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichés. But what I will say is this…
[chuckling]
Ed: It's not the end of the world.
Videogame voice: [as Shaun sits down next to Ed who's playing a videogame and presses a button on the joypad] Player 2 has entered the game.
Ed: Don't you have work?
Videogame voice: [Shaun presses a button again and gets up] Player 2 has left the game.
Shaun: As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about.
The Emperor's New Groove
Yzma: Tell us where the talking llama is, and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Kronk: Uh, don't you mean "or"?
Yzma: [sighs] Tell us where the talking llama is, *or* we'll burn your house to the ground.
Chaca: Well, which one is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.
[plotting ways to kill Kuzco]
Yzma: Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...
Yzma: [laughs]
Yzma: ...I'LL SMASH IT WITH A H AMMER! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!
Yzma: [knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which shrivels up and dies]
Yzma: Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this.
[Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil debate saving Kuzco]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one. Look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Oh, right. That's a harp, and that's a dress.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two. Look what I can do. Ha ha!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: [does one-armed handstand]
Kronk: But what does that have to do with anything?
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no. He's got a point.
[Kuzko collides with an old man while dancing]
Kuzco: Aargh. You threw off my groove!
Guard: I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove.
[the old man is thrown out of the palace window]
Old Man: Soooorryyyyy...
[while Kuzco and Pacha are trying out all of Yzma's potions]
Kuzco: Yay. I'm a llama again!
Kuzco: [beat] Wait...
Kuzco: Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama!
Pacha: What? No, I did not.
Kuzco: Yes, and then you kidnapped me!
Pacha: Why would I kidnap a llama?
Kuzco: I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me.
Pacha: What?
Kuzco: You're right. That's giving you way too much credit.
Yzma: Looking for this?
Yzma: [holds up the vial of human extract]
[Kuzco and Pacha gasp]
Kuzco: No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?
Yzma: Uh...
[pauses]
Yzma: ...how *did* we, Kronk?
Kronk: Well, ya got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
[Kronk holds up a map of the two parties' trails, showing Yzma's and Kronk's falling down a canyon halfway through]
Yzma: Oh, well.
Kuzco: Oh boo hoo, now I feel really bad. Bad llama. [slaps himself mockingly in the face]
Trainspotting
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: [narrating] Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a smurfing big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the smurf you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing smurfing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, smurfed up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?



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