A bear walks into a bar, tells the bartender "I'll have a.........beer."
Bartender says "Why the big pause?" (paws)

Wonder how long this one'll last...
A man, feeling down on his luck with the ladies, walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The guy next to him gets up, walks up behind a woman, and says something to her--she turns around, giggles, whispers something in his ear, and they walk out together. So the man's thinking "damn, that guy's good." About an hour later, the man's still sitting there drinking his heartaches down, when the same guy comes back--he comes up to the bar, orders a drink, then walks up behind another lady and says something to her. The lady turns around, giggles, whispers something in his ear, and they walk out together. The first man watches this, amazed. About an hour later, the guy comes back again--again, he walks up to the bar and orders a drink. Before he can go after another lady, the man says something to him.

"Hey," he says. "I watched you with those women before. You're really something. I really have bad luck with women, and I was just wondering...could you help me out? You know, give me some advice?"

So the second guy goes "Sure--just do what I do. Walk up behind a woman you're attracted to and say, softly, 'Tickle your butt with a feather?'"

The man breaks in. "You serious?"

"You bet. Listen, though, you'll see the logic. If the lady turns around and says 'What?' or 'What did you just say to me?' then just say 'Here comes nasty weather!' and walk off. But--and here's the kicker--but, if the woman goes for it--finds it cute or funny or whatever--she'll respond in a more positive manner."

The man understands it, but questions. "So this'll work?"

"Damn right it will. You said you were watching me, right? That's exactly what I do."

The man figures hey, why not, I'll give it a shot. Couldn't work any worse than the lines he's tried before, right? And after watching the other guy, his tactics seem to work well.

So the man picks out a good-looking lady across the bar, and the other guy says "here's your chance--go for it. Remember what to say."

He walks up behind the lady, thinking, and says softly, "Stick a finger up your ass?"

The woman turns around, puzzled. "What'd you say?"

"Rainin' like hell out, ain't it?"

This is one of my favorites.

What's brown and sticky? (SPOILER)A stick!