"Smart @$$ Comments" of 2004

[Tifa Lockheart]

This was an email a friend sent me... there are a few perverted comments sooo...

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said. "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy. "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied," No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, " Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way w/o a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Smart Ass Answer #1:

A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class was reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[Blackmageboi]

XD

[The Anarchy Angel]

#1! #1!

[Xaven]

I vote #1.

[Dreddz]

lol

[Old Manus]

Of 2004?

[Tifa Lockheart]

Yea, 2005 isn't over yet

[Cruise Control]

1, or 5

[Leeza]

Is there a point to this thread?

Post Smart-Ass comments (acceptable ones). Not just comments.

[Sin Magnum]

1 is great.

[Del Murder]

When I was in sixth grade the teacher told us to 'take our seats', so I picked mine up and said 'where do you want me to take it?' I had to go sit outside for a while.

[CloudSquallandZidane]

#1 is fing great!

[eestlinc]

in ninth grade my history teacher told me I'd have to take notes in order to get an A in the class and I told her I wouldn't take notes and I would get an A anyway. (I think I got an A, but don't really remember).

Or the time in 8th grade when the high school band director came by to hear the rising 9th graders and he says to me "you play very well. now you just need to get a private teacher to go to the next level" and I said "I seem to be doin just fine on my own."

[Doomie]

Jay Leno: It is said that when women are having an orgasm, part of their brain shuts down. Hey Kev, you know what that part is?

Kevin Eubanks: Sorry Jay, I don't.

Jay Leno: (fixing his tie) Didn't think so.

[nik0tine]

A girl who had the hots for me called me one day, and we talked for way too long as usual. During the conversation, she was whining about how we never hang out. She said "We never hang out Nick.. I really want to see you.." To which I responded "Well, you've seen me before... Why don't you just conjur up a mental image?"