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Thread: Humorous Answering Machine Messages.

  1. #16

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    I once called my friends house. This was the message I got.

    "How the hell do ya make this thing *beep*"

  2. #17

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    "DO THE MESSAGE! Do do do do do do do do doo do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do doo do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do...After the beep."

    Quote Originally Posted by Bomber
    "Hello? **long pause** Ha! Fooled you! This is our voice mail. Please leave a message after the tone..."
    My sister encountered one even more detailed, with a full:
    "Hello?...
    ...
    Yes, speaking...
    ...
    I'm fine, how are you?...
    ...
    Good..."
    and so forth - apparently it was really well done and hard to tell it was a machine .


    Or, a modified version of the "Red pill blue pill" speech in the Matrix:
    "...Or, stay on the line, and see just how deep this rabbit hole goes..."

  3. #18
    Meat Puppet's Avatar
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    I got a phonecall once. It was a wrong number but I managed to keep them on for at least 10 seconds.

  4. #19
    Prinny God Recognized Member Endless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirkpatrick
    Quote Originally Posted by Bomber
    "Hello? **long pause** Ha! Fooled you! This is our voice mail. Please leave a message after the tone..."
    My sister encountered one even more detailed, with a full:
    "Hello?...
    ...
    Yes, speaking...
    ...
    I'm fine, how are you?...
    ...
    Good..."
    and so forth - apparently it was really well done and hard to tell it was a machine .


    Or, a modified version of the "Red pill blue pill" speech in the Matrix:
    "...Or, stay on the line, and see just how deep this rabbit hole goes..."
    Yeah, these are classics.

    A friend of mine currently has his say: "Answering Machine, message, beep *beep*"

    One taken from a fantasy rpg parody show:

    "You are on the dwarf's answering machine. I am not here, because I'm doing, er... stuff. You can leave me a message, it'll cost you 5 gold coins. *money sound* That will teach you about leaving me messages."

    And then there is Death

  5. #20
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    My all-time favourite has to be one that my Aunty Di told me.

    "Hi, I'm not picking up the phone right now because I'm avoiding someone. Leave a message, and if I don't call you back in five minutes - it's you."
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  6. #21

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    the one my friend has is funny but its rude so i cannot put it
    xDDD
    one i used to have was "who the hell are you? and why are you wasting my answer machines time by calling me?"
    but my dad made me get rid of it because he always thought i was talking to him xDDD
    another person i know has him just saying hello?? hhheeeeellllo??? can you hear me? are you there?
    so you think its him talking xD ans yes i was fooled the first time

    Trust No one

  7. #22
    Gamecrafter Recognized Member Azure Chrysanthemum's Avatar
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    One that my friend had:

    (In robot voice) "Hi. Stephy's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I will tape your message to myself with one of these magnets."

  8. #23
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Behold the Void
    One that my friend had:

    (In robot voice) "Hi. Stephy's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I will tape your message to myself with one of these magnets."
    Haha, my Aunty Di used that one too. She's the queen of answering machine messages. I think she had a book that had an entire chapter of them.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  9. #24
    Old-Ones Studios Cruise Control's Avatar
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    Old: (In italian accent) Hey its me, I'm currently unable to tell you my name or answer your phone call because I'm on the run from the mafia. But however, if you leave your name message and phone-number, I'll call you when I reach greece.

    New: Hey this is me, if you don't know who I am, you shouldn't be calling. But if you know who I am, leave your name message and phone-number and I'll call you back
    Leave some shards under the belly
    Lay some grease inside my hand
    It's a sentimental jury
    And the makings of a good plan

  10. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Proto
    • "This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when."
    Classic xD and what anime is your sig from?
    Making a slow come back since 2008

  11. #26
    Prinny God Recognized Member Endless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuzo
    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Proto
    • "This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when."
    Classic xD and what <b>anime</b> is your sig from?
    xD From Tales of symphonia, on the Gamecube.

    My cousin had this for a message for a while:
    "Hey! I'm not here right now, 'cause I'm either sleeping, taking my shower, eating or pooping. Please leave a message and I'l call you back."

    And then there is Death

  12. #27
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    Hi - welcome to the asylum for the criminally insane. We can`t answer the phone because we`ve been blindfolded and handcuffed to a cloud. We realy want to get back to you so please leave your name, address and favourite mod of death after the tone.

  13. #28
    Posts Occur in Real Time edczxcvbnm's Avatar
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    "Hello...Hey how is it going?...Well if you have not figured it out by now this is an answering machine you douche. Leave message."

  14. #29
    Draw the Drapes Recognized Member rubah's Avatar
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    I believe I came across a *killer* list of these somewhere on textfiles.com xD

    I don't remember them though xD

    My friend's cell phone's voice mail message is something like this: "Welcome to the Whips and Whipped Cream Hotline! Order are now IN!"

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