You are talking pre 35 here. At higher levels is what i am talking about. They either pull and/or DD, or they tank at higher levels. Pre 35 isnt really a good representation of the game as those are learning stages and bad things happen.

I leveled WAR twice, once on Hume and once on Taru, my Hume's is 36 and Taru is 34, both have had their share of mishaps, however nothing as bad as you say. I actually find parties go faster if i do pull and tank, as i can do it better than most newb WARs out there and reek in faster exp. At Valkurm and some of Qufim, it was common for stupidity as people are still learning but when i hit Altepa, that stopped. I still never died like that. I would have just left of kicked the WHM, hence why i always make my parties and make them go the way i like them to for the most part.

Melee dont get the crap end of the deal, only at the lower levels where anyone is a new face, once you get higher level a few people become familiar and you can get to know them. Because players ALWAYS go through the first 30ish levels. Only the better people move forward into the higher levels and a community is more well formed there. So while it might be true lower levels, at higher levels, stupidty is once in a blue moon thing unless they leech up there with RDM BRD WHM jobs.