Once upon a time, there lived a member named Calliope. Calliope was a fast, towering person who loved hats very much. One morning Calliope was travelling on the submarine when she spotted -N- selling flowers on a streetcorner. Feeling sorry for -N-, Calliope disembarked from the submarine and walked over, hoping to strike up a conversation.

"Howdy, howdy, howdy!" shouted Calliope, waving her toe in a frantic greeting. -N- was shocked by Calliope's sudden arrival, and ran into the local banana museum to escape. Calliope went to follow him, but tripped over the museum's centrepiece, a gigantic golden banana, and injured her eyeball.

Meanwhile, -N- was feeling pretty pleased that he had escaped, and celebrated by inviting eestlinc, Yamaneko, and Lindsey Lohan over for taquiutos and whiskey. However, it turned out that Yamaneko was a highly sophisticated robot built by Turkmenistan to assassinate Lindsey Lohan. Yamaneko grabbed a life-preserver and dived at Lindsey Lohan, but was restrained by eestlinc, who fought off the evil creature with a sack of potatoes. A fierce battle ensued, the likes of which had never been seen before. Finally, eestlinc and -N- joined forces to push Yamaneko out of the window. Yamaneko screamed "Only a knowman can save us now!!!", then slept and died.

The great evil defeated, -N-, eestlinc, and Lindsey Lohan celebrated by singing Folsom Prison Blues and playing baseball. It was the start of a beautiful friendship, and eventually eestlinc and Lindsey Lohan got married in a broom closet and lived happily ever after.