The true plot of FF8! SPOILERS!
I’ve got a theory! It explains everything that happens in the game and more:
Seifer and Squall are very good friends, but they hide it in order to fulfill they dark desires. Their main objective was to make sure that Squall could have a good hit on Rinoa. That’s why Seifer dated Rinoa beforehand and told Squall everything about her. Then Squall used his great theatralic SeeD skills and acted dumb.
Seifer send a BGMail (BalambGarden) to a woman that looked really weird and could cast some weird spells on a mediocre level. That was Ultimecia. Later in the game, they asked Edea to capture the World so Squall could get hurt badly (with a ice-arrow bought at the local ToyRUs). This made Rinoa feel pitiful about him and so on.
Then they transformed the garden into a hovercraft by placing few FF8 fans underneath it. When Squall finally defeated Edea, Rinoa was darted with a sleeping arrow. Then she dreamed like they flew through the space and all the rest of it.
After “killing” Adel, who was a transvestite clown, they’ve set a few minor Davil Coperfield tricks and imitated the time compression. Rinoa, whose cigarettes were replaced with stronger stuff, started seeing some weird Sorceress, who was the same clown as Adel without the muscles implants.
Then they by accident decapitated the bad actor that was meant to play the EVIL Ultimecia and everyone was happy since.
Who paid for all this? Laguna is very expensive as a president.
And finally what did everyone achive:
- Squall got Rinoa! BINGO!
- Rinoa got Squall (or at least that what she thinks)
- Seifer got a fishing holiday for free
- Edea fulfilled her dream of ruling the world in a kinky makeup
- Cid got a new and a very big car that doesn’t really fit into most parking lots and killed his poor business partner NORG
- Caraway tested his new missile systems
- Esthar citizen got healthy due to the fact that their lifts went out of order
- Few poor actors got their salary
- Laguna suffered the same fate as Lui XVI
Now doesn't that explain every single theory posted in these forums before! And that the way the real men do it kids!
Originally Posted by ThroneofDravaris
