Yarr, matey, don't be so hard on 'im. E's tryin' his piratest best! 'E desrves a dabloon! Aaaar!

For real piratey goodness, go to The Best Page In The Universe (tm)!
http://maddox.xmission.com/

[Warning: Many will be offended by Maddox's mega-pirate assertions. If you are easily offended, or have a pace-maker, conscience or soul, do not use the above link! Aaar, ye be warned!]