The truth is that Cloud got really tired of how freaking annoying Aeris was, so he hired Sephiroth to kill her during her daily pray to be more of a bitch then she was the day before. In exchange, he gave Sephiroth the Black Materia, which creates a giant disco ball in the sky so that he could have the world's biggest disco party. After having Aeris killed and pretending to care, Cloud realized how big this party was going to be, and also realized he wasn't invited. This pissed him off. So he gathered his band of leftover rejects and set out to kill Sephiroth before his party started. Along the way, he killed all of Sephiroth's party guests: The Weapons, Shinra, Jenova,Bugenhaden (Poisoned I tell you!), and just about everyone else. They then had a disco battle with Sephiroth in his psycodelic 70s pad in North Crater. Cloud used his trademark move, The Omnislash (Don't ask where he got the name), and defeated Sephiroth in one move. This caused the disco ball to collapse and come down on Midgar. Sephiroth used what was left of his marijuana to get himself high enough to make all those green lights he see's real, thus saving the world. The End.

... I can't believe I wrote any of that....