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Thread: Yay! We die in the year 2014! :D

  1. #1
    Bigger than a rancor SomethingBig's Avatar
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    Default Yay! We die in the year 2014! :D

    http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20050912/112653720001.html

    PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
    Monday September 12, 2005



    By MIKE FOSTER

    CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!

    Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

    "The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.

    "The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

    Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

    "A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

    "Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

    "It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

    "Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

    "Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

    To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

    "It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

    Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

    "It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

    But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

    "If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

    Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

    "We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.

    But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

    "A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

    Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

    "This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.

    "The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."
    So guys, how will you live out the rest of your 10 years of life?

    Me? I'll get drunk beyond your wildest dreams and have tons and tons of pre-marital sex. I'll become more stoned than Bob Marley x 50 trillion and boy cuz marijuana r teh win.

    [spoilers]This is actually a fake story written by an online tabloid. I hope I fooled and scared you![/spoilers]
    :monster2: One, AH! AH! Two, AH AH! Three, AH AH!

  2. #2
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Isn't there supposed to be a planet-destroying phenomenon hitting Earth every year from 2008 to 2500?

  3. #3
    Bigger than a rancor SomethingBig's Avatar
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    But this is the real deal! weeklyworldnews.com says so!
    :monster2: One, AH! AH! Two, AH AH! Three, AH AH!

  4. #4
    dizzy up the girl Recognized Member Rye's Avatar
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    Honestly, before I'd die, I'd probably travel to like, every cool place and zoo/aquarium I know of and Elaine Dance constantly and have fun. And I'd visit all my EoFF friends. xD


  5. #5
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    They're all the real deal.

  6. #6
    Bigger than a rancor SomethingBig's Avatar
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    Oh noes! The WWN also said that the 4 horsemen were asking for directions in Paris! We really are going to die!
    :monster2: One, AH! AH! Two, AH AH! Three, AH AH!

  7. #7
    Draw the Drapes Recognized Member rubah's Avatar
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    That was on the radio apparently-- some girl mentioned it in science class xD

    The Internet says I'm going to die in 2015 anyways, so I'm not too worried.

  8. #8
    Seymour_Guado_Goth's Avatar
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    Pretty much doubt it
    Yesterday's future is today....

  9. #9

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    I'll beleive it when I see it, less than a milisecond before my eyes melt.

    If I knew the world was going to end soon I would stop caring about everything...to tell you the truth.

  10. #10
    Got obliterated Recognized Member Shoeberto's Avatar
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    Were it true, I'd spill every last thought on my mind to a crowd of people and try to get laid. That's ideal, anyhow.


  11. #11
    Nobody's Hero Cuchulainn's Avatar
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    Before I die it has always been my wish to see a planet dissolving dust cloud. I'm set.

  12. #12
    good evening, miss Tifa's Real Lover(really's Avatar
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    IM TO YOUNG TO DIE!!! i only have 4 yrs cuz i graduate in 2010!!!

    I would probably go play video games or have sex (the usual) - Nominus Experse

    my mom would be like "ve? yo te dije, el internet no es bueno."

    "seriously, my mom tells me "que tu hase en eso el dia entero?" and im like "mami yo toy hablando con people" xD. spanglish, ftw." ~ liz

  13. #13
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
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    Funny, I thought it already hit.

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  14. #14
    Bigger than a rancor SomethingBig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tifa's Real Lover(really
    IM TO YOUNG TO DIE!!! i only have 4 yrs cuz i graduate in 2010!!!
    Oh noes! And that pesky cloud destroys indiscriminately!
    :monster2: One, AH! AH! Two, AH AH! Three, AH AH!

  15. #15
    Proudly Loathsome ;) DMKA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Del Murder
    I thought it already hit.
    I like Kung-Fu.

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