Originally Posted by
Black Mage 121
1. Get involved in a vague online semi-friendship with someone from EoFF.
2. Leave forever and come back within three months (generally two weeks) and have nobody notice.
3. Reply to a thread in which Loony BoB uses the word 'phone'.
4. Have a postcard from your aunt that you really, really wish was from the postcard bandits.
5. Read the EoFF Triathlon thread and assure yourself that you could enter and win if only you were popular enough.
6. Fail to submit any votes for the EoFF Triathlon despite your continuing interest.
7. Get nominated only once for a category in the Ciddies, meaning you won't actually progress to the finals.
8. Watch quietly as someone is licked in the EoFF chatroom.
9. See Unne shake his head in a thread you’ve posted in but believe it utterly insignificant and ignore it.
10. Have The Man / Aaron tell someone else to join Fool’s Gold in your presence.
11. Post in a thread saying how fast the thread is going to get closed and decide to post as many times as possible before it does, only to find that it is closed immediately before the fun can even begin.
12. Have Skwowwy/clout help you out with an embarrassingly simple computer-related problem.
13. Have Spuuky not care about your opinion in the slightest because you've never spoken/met.
14. Have three other members post the exact same thing in your newbie thread.
15. Wonder what the hell the cookie and cookie monster smilies are about.
16. Be sexually assaulted by Meat Puppet for no apparent reason.
17. Be extremely confused when one day this Del Murder guy comes up to you and *enforces* you.
18. Be huggled by a random forgettable member from the FFX-2 board.
19. Never post a photo of yourself because you don't have a digital camera.
20. Quote someone much more interesting than yourself in the quotes thread.
21. Get all reminiscent about the ‘good old days’ even though you weren't there.
22. Join at least one of the spinoff boards, from either: Fool’s Gold, FFI, ASC, Aiyon, Rawk!, Village Mist, Team Mystica (ha) and never post.
23. Get your name on the EoFF Map where it will be lost among the six zillion other members who live in California.
24. Join either an xD vs. XD or Pop vs. Soda war, on neither side but as an undecided neutral party who takes the subject far too seriously.
25. Submit something into one or more of the Writer’s, Poetry or Art forums and have it get zero views.
26. Make it to the first round of a ScreenName competition.
27. Be hit on by someone of the same gender when offline, and make a thread about it in EoEo that gets zero views.
28. Get involved with a prom thread OR a gender swap thread, but make an unassuming contribution of no real value.
29. Have an admin use their powers to close one of your threads and make a scathing comment that makes you look really dumb.
30. Don't join a party in the EoFF general elections for at least two years.
31. Start a party in the EoFF general elections that drops straight to the bottom of the page and out of sight.
32. Submit a post consisting of nothing but a smiley that is immediatey deleted and warned for being spammy.
33. Not give a damn about Bleys’ Crotch.
34. Hear Kishi sing but not realize it's him.
35. Make a thread asking what the attack button does.
36. Get told in some way by Crashnumbers that he’s been around so much longer than you.
37. Miss Sean because everyone else does.
38. Consider getting a LiveJournal but decide you'll never update it and give up.
39. Make a really awful typo that nobody notices, but secretly feel like an idiot for the rest of the week.
40. Be one of 199 members online, and wait around for the number to hit 200. After about thirty seconds decide it isn't worth it and give up.
41. Try to figure out your post count, and succeed because since you've only made about a hundred posts in your time at the boards.
42. Take a screenshot of some part of EoFF for no purpose at all, and lose it forever on your hard drive.
43. Have a thread from EoFF saved to your hard drive for a few days, and then delete it since it's not that great after all.
44. Have the song ‘Good Riddance’ by Greenday on your playlist. (Now that's average!)
45. Sign off because there's no one else posting and you have better things to do.
46. Set up your own webcam in case anyone wants to see your face. Wait at least a year before using it.
47. Have a thing for Scottie (regardless of your gender). This thing can be either indifference to Scottie or complete ignorance of Scottie.
48. View the main site for EoFF on your way to the forums.
49. Have some kind of trouble with attachments. When finally solved, these attachments will never be opened by another member.
50. Go and play videogames/go outside because the forums are down. When you return, discover that the forums have already been back up for at least a week.
51. Get confused by any random oldbie.
52. Inquire about getting into the EoFF map / album and never follow up on it.
53. Improve your grammar as a result of working hard in English lessons. Carry this knowledge over to EoFF.
54. Make some kind of remark about the elitists / elitism that a BAoTWer chuckles at. Cling on to them for the rest of your EoFF 'career' for this recognition.
55. Suggest a food / newbie / birthday / tech / coming-and-going forum in GC, since you have no idea that the feedback forum exists.
56. Look at a thread purely because Kishi just posted in it and you've heard people talk about him but don't actually know who he is.
57. Get involved in a full-scale admin-authorized spam thread by saying 'this thread is totally spammy it needs to be closed' or something similar.
58. When more of a newbie, see one of these threads and talk about it with your fellow newbies and not dare to post in it. One of your fellow newbies does and becomes insanely popular, going on to become a Recognized Member and father of a thousand in-jokes.
59. Get involved in an ORPG (not necessarily for long, or more than one post even) within EoFF. Have the ORPG forum closed within three days of you beginning to post.
60. Play EoFF: Sick Irony and not get it.
61. Get involved in a voice chat with one other person. This is the height of your stay at EoFF.
62. See a birthday thread and think it’s a waste of space because you don't know who this 'Leeza' is.
63. Make a birthday thread for yourself because you're so very, very lonely. Have it closed by Leeza.
64. Explain how you chose your screenname in three separate threads. Use the explanation 'Because squall is my fave' character from any FF game'.
65. See a thread about a body part and consider it really spammy.
66. Play a game in the local arcade instead of logging on to EoFF, because you can't spend all day on the internet being a reclusive nerd.
67. Check out which members of EoFF share your birthday. None of them are recognizable.
68. Try to log in but not be able to because it won’t work. Simply shrug and check your e-mail instead.
69. Drag either a friend from offline or another online area into EoFF. They don't really fit in and stop posting after their newbie thread.
70. See a forum you never realized even existed. Probably Eyes on the World.
71. Browse through the General Archive and find none of it very interesting.
72. Spend your online time checking out the ‘Who’s Online’ page, but quickly get bored and visit chat instead.
73. Stalk someone in the hope of getting some kind of response from them.
74. Be slightly irritated by an advertisement, most likely the one for Dr. Unne's clinic that lead to a completely unrelated website.
75. Post a thread that’s actually already been done and is still active, but you didn’t know because you don't really read most of the threads in GC.
76. Get disappointed at your only friend being banned.
77. Get disappointed by that Psychotic guy who's always spamming and getting away with it not being banned.
78. Have Kishi insult a group or demographic of which you are a part.
79. Be corrected by Kishi. Have countless members mentally file you under the category of 'morons who Kishi has corrected over the years'.
80. Use "ed’s technicolour nightmare" theme and immediately switch back to the EoFF 2005 style, because it looks horrible.
81. Suffer from a severe case of confusion (probably due to ed’s technicolour nightmare theme).
82. Consider sending Loony BoB some of your hair, then discover that you're out of stamps and can't be bothered to go and get any more.
83. Have an empty PM folder.
84. Stop going to EoFF because Final Fantasy takes up all your time.
85. Have Leeza edit your signature for being way too large. Replace it with exactly the same image and be PM'ed and warned for it.
86. Get into a debate with ffxgurl75 about which Dressphere is the best.
87. Change your screenname, just to have people ignore it. Change it back within a month.
88. Have the chance to meet someone from EoFF offline, but decline because you have a dentist's appointment.
89. Have 1% of your offline conversations inspired by or to do with EoFF, and be laughed at by your real-life friends whenever you bring it up.
90. Notice a thread about an EoFF marriage in GC, but ignore it because it's probably some stupid elitist thing that you won't get.
91. Restrict the amount of time you allow yourself to spend on the internet because it interferes with your schoolwork.
92. Go online at work, school, or a netcafé, and use the time to check your e-mail or buy Starsky and Hutch Memorabilia on eBay. Consider logging in to EoFF, but decide against it because you've forgotten your password.
93. Make a thread in EoFF about EoFF. Have it get zero views.
94. Get shot by a sniper because everyone else does it.
95. Wonder why on earth anybody would want to have both BOUxUnne and ScottxBleys images on your HDD.
96. Accidentally steal a catchphrase from BOU. Don't realize you've done it, but be unknowingly hated by the rest of the forum from that point onwards.
97. Add a word to the EoFF dictionary but discover that it is already in there.
98. Hit the attack button once, smile briefly to yourself and move on.
99. See Rirse post a thread, but completely miss the subtle reference to him being ‘back’. Ignore the thread.
100. Mistake someone for the other gender. Have everyone else do the same to you.
101. Have enough time on your hands to go through someone else's list and change it beyond recognition. Simultaneously ruin it by using the same ideas over and over again and make other people worry about your sanity in the process.
101 things to do for the average EoFF'er.
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