the war is officially over

[Madame Adequate]

or Britain could just pull out of Northern Ireland like they pulled out of the rest of their colonial holdings. Why are the Irish any less deserving of freedom than Indians, or South Africans, or Americans?

Because the people of Northern Ireland actually want to remain British.

Sweet little half-truth there. Half of the population do, the half that colonised here from Scotland & England.

First, the Irish side of my family has lived in the North for longer than we can trace with any certainty. Most of them have absolutely no desire to see a united Ireland.

Second, the logical conclusion of that argument is that only the first people who existed have valid claim to any land. And we all come from the same place. Ergo, the argument is nullified. Unless you want to actually find some Neolithic cavemen and ask them what they think, of course. Edit: Sorry, not Neolithic, Mesolithic cavemen were the ones who went over there first.

Finally, it's not like this mass emigration happened a decade ago. There is a certain point (Though I confess very hard to define and one which changes depending on many circumstances) where a person (Or at least a family line) stops being wherever they emigrated from, and become wherever they emigrated to.

So here's the two elections which should take place;

In Northern Ireland, among residents of Northern Ireland, whether or not they wish to join the Republic of Ireland.

In the Republic, whether or not they wish to admit Northern Ireland to be part of the nation.

If that works out in a way people don't like, then both sides should open their borders to the other so that people can choose to live in whichever side they prefer. It's an imperfect and flawed solution, but at least it means anyone stranded in a nation they dislike or don't wish to live in can easily move to what one presumes to be their preferred destination (Which, by the by, ought to be the case everywhere in my opinion.).