I didnt like Advent Children for several reasons.
First of all, Im not really all that big a fan of the original FFVII. Sure it was a okay game, some points it was even great, but the game, the story and its characters, the music, and the overall challenge and design were all a step beneath the prior Final Fantasy, FFVI. When I first saw sepherioth, with his seven foot sword, girlish smile, bishonen long hair and V-neck leather I declared and prayed to the heavens not to let him be a main character. My outrage knew no bounds that he was the main villain, and its not just the fact that he looks like his life motto is "dont ask, dont tell" in every way possible he is inferior to characters like Eperor Geshtal who was so evil he slit the throat of a already dying woman just to kidnap her baby and turn the child into a living weapon, and kefka who needs no introduction. Then there was cloud, unlike most the cross dressing thing didnt really bother me considering it was done as a huge joke. Its just the fact that they gave him this badass mystique, revealed him to be a wimp, then tried to tell us that him, as a Final Fantasy equivelant to a rent-a-cop could withdraw a sword from his own midsection, and hurl the holder (by the point of his own sword no less) down a chasam was really pushing it. Then there was clouds moaning, weeping, angsty creed-like dialouge that often struck me as being beneath final fantasy considering how weighty the first six games had been.
Okay, I didnt find the main story so awesome, and the main antagonist and protagonist were less then captivating. Lets move on to the actual movie... which I can sum up with the words...
WTF!?!?!
Im not exactly the biggest fan of FFVII. But I do give it its props. But Advent Children was almost a complete vaccum of quality, filled instead with contrivance, idiocy, lost potential and redundancy. Lets take the animation values for starters. Watch much Hong Kong action flicks or anime? I do. and I found Advent Childrens animation and fight scenes to be very redundant of both. The whole flying and leaping thing can be compared to Such anime as Dragon Ball Z or such Wuxia flicks as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or hero. Ditto for the fight scenes and special powers as well. Also I found that alot of times the action in Advent Children felt wooden, like I was watching a puppet show or something. I wasnt expecting animation values on the level of Spritis Within (which by the way I feel is an immensely superior film, and a infinitely inferior final fantasy product) but c'mon at some points the action just felt so awful, like something out of a 1,000,000 dollar man episode.
Then there was the main character. Not characters, that would insinuate there was more then one. As soon as the film finished its rather boring ten minute long recap of the game (can anyone tell me what was the point of us seeing the ending of the game again at the beginning?) the film focused on cloud. And even IF I found cloud to be a likeable character (which I dont) didnt the moody mook sort out his psychosis back in the game? Why am I watching this looser work through his loneliness and bi-polar issues again? I had enough of it halfway through the game, I didnt need another hit while watching him do his best impression of Li Mu bai.
Then there was Tifa. Now Tifa may not have exactly embodied the essence of strong willed leading women in the game, but she did have her moments. Here she does nothing but serves as a punching bag for Loz and then acts as clouds cheerleader for the rest of the film. I love the scene where yuffie just gives her a sneer and comments on how stupid cloud is behaving. If Tifa had a backbone in this film, she'd slap him, throw a glass of cold water in his face and tell him to get off his his self pitying ass and get something done.
I'll finish my character asassination by commenting on the viallains. First of all could Kadaj had been any more boring? Maybe at the school of redundant bishonen acting 101, they teach you to dress in leather, say ambiguous villain talk and lather, rinse, repeat. But I do like my main villains to actually, you know, get something done or make a lick of sense. His master plan of kidnapping midgars children to turn them into his own cult of suicidal zombie ninja commadoes reminded of this one episode of GI Joe where cobra commander takes over a preschool and tries to make a class of 8 year olds into a crack commando team. (Except GI Joe did it better). And when you take your lessons in villainy from a lame 80's villain with a lisp, you suck. End of story. I know he's just a shell who's only purpose in life is to bring seph back, but I would have liked for him to be a bit more likeable. And when seph does come back, I was so bored. (Hey seph, you infect the planet and the human race with a disease made up of your conciousness, plan this elaborate resurrection scheme, and you dont know what your gonna do next? Can we just get Cobra Commander to be the villain next film? At least he had backup plans). All seph did was prance around, talk the ambigious stereotypical villain talk, and die. What was the point?
I'll tell you what the point was, and its Advent Childrens main flaw, it wasnt so much that it was a movie as it was a huge fanwank on square's most internationally successful title. Say what you will about spirits within, but whats the most common complaint about it? "It shouldnt have been called Final fantasy" is what the gaming crowd say about it. "It didnt even star any Final Fantasy characters". Gag me with a spoon for cyrin out loud, Sakaguchi and square work bloody hard to bring a legitamately intelligent and well thought out video game movie to theatres, and the video game crowd turned up their noses just because it didnt feature any moody bishonen? This is why video game movies since then suck, but make money. So yah, square took the rought of Super Mario Bros and the live action street fighter. It threw in every piece of Final Fantasy VII fanservice it could think of, and nothing else. Thats Advent Childrens greatest strength, and greatest weakness. Here's just a few examples of how most of the plot makes little to no sense.
Kadaj kidnaps and brainwashes midgars children, then just has them stand around waiting for bahamut to kill them. What was the point of kidnapping them then?
Cloud moaps for most of the film, and one pep talk from vincent later he's on top of the world? Give me a break.
I understand kadaj was a shell for sepherioth's thoughts and power. But what was the origin and point for the other two? It would have made more sense if all three stored a part of sepherioth. One the intellect, another the power, and the other the magic. That would have made so much more sense, and added to sephs coolness (what little there is) on the princible that no one human shell could contain his combined ability. As it was, the other two were just utterly pointless and served little real point to the plot.
The entire final fantasy cast is busy doing their own business, but bahamut shows up and they all coincidently just happen to be in the same neighborhood? Yah right convenient, couldnt they have done a bit more besides cheer on cloud?
Then there was the ending, They should have just let cloud DIE. Instead the lifestream brings him back. AGAIN! isnt this like the third time the lifestream has brought a dead person back? first seph when cloud throws him into the chasam, then clould when the crater collapses, then in this film. Seems there is so much traffic going through the lifestream these days they oughtta just build a subway terminal going through it. Would be alot less contrived.
And I really dont think we needed to see Aerieth and Zack at the end. They were more then just visiting spirits seeing as how Aerieth was tending too a sick child, and yes it answered the question as too who she loved, but It was still really pointless besides to give those idiots who still write poetry over her death a cheap thrill.
Then there was the beginning. You know, I want to be at the meeting where nomura pitched that idea. "Okay, wait for this, I have a BRILLIANT idea. I see Advent Children beginning.... with the same cinema that ENDED the Game! Ah, I am a Genius." Odds are the sheer fanboyish stupidity of that idea would trace the root of the rumored mental collapse of FFXII's initial director.
It wasnt ALL bad (just mostly) I loved the turks and reviewed the film too two and a half stars (rounded off to three stars for generosity sakes) based on their involvement. Reno and Rude's fight with the seph clones was great. Seeing them get in their licks after insulting jenova was priceless, and just the sheer antics from Rude always carrying a spare pair of shades to seeing those two clowns handle heavy explosives made for alot of much needed sincere entertainment. and Rufus went from Wily E Coyotee style corporate bumbling to having balls of sheer steel by the way he punked kadaj. Why couldnt those guys have been the main characters of the film? thats the REAL flaw. That writing and characters like that were relegated to second banana status.
there were alot of other issues I had, but I can stop now. Ive made enough of my point. As a video game Film, Advent Children is the cream of the crop. As a film period, it ranks beneath waterworld, and Gigli.
Originally Posted by Ishin Ookami
