Bush talks to God.

**Light Mage** · 10-17-2005, 07:22 PM

"Hello God?"
"Yes it's me."
"You want me to what, God? Insert a spork into Bush's where?!"
"Okay, you're the boss... let me go find one."

See, I can talk to God too, and God is telling me that Bush is a smurfing retard.
And you know what? It's all true!
Bush really is a smurfing retard because God says so.

**Dignified Pauper** · 10-17-2005, 07:41 PM

I could see a God wanting a president to battle for peace, but if said God did that, president probably executed the mission wrong.

Regardless, God only speaks to the PoPe. It's catholic fact.

**bipper** · 10-17-2005, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Dignified Pauper

I could see a God wanting a president to battle for peace, but if said God did that, president probably executed the mission wrong.

Regardless, God only speaks to the PoPe. It's catholic fact.

This is where I get all screwed up. The holy spirit is responsible for moving people; granted that the holy spirit IS part of the divine trinity, it is not propriatory to the Pope. It says this all over the Bible, and the Catholic religion does recognise this. They also recognise not to worship false gods, and yet they pray to saints. It all worries me.

As far as God speaking to Bush, I would believe it; as bringing peace to the middle east is a stepping stone for revelations. Prehaps this is what Bush is gunning for in all of this. /sigh

bipper

**Light Mage** · 10-18-2005, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by bipper

As far as God speaking to Bush, I would believe it; as bringing peace to the middle east is a stepping stone for revelations. Prehaps this is what Bush is gunning for in all of this. /sigh

bipper

Which one of the Four Horsemen is he, then?

**udsuna** · 10-18-2005, 02:31 PM

He's the fifth horseman, Stupidity. The others don't like to talk about him much.

And what's so wrong with the Revelations. It's 1000 years of peace on earth.... then earth goes kaput. Surely, by the end of that reign, we'll have found new planets to sit around on.

**Light Mage** · 10-18-2005, 03:14 PM

*snort*

Pwnd.

**bipper** · 10-20-2005, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by udsuna

And what's so wrong with the Revelations. It's 1000 years of peace on earth.... then earth goes kaput. Surely, by the end of that reign, we'll have found new planets to sit around on.

....

Originally Posted by Revelation 20-1:3 NIV

And I saw an angel coming down out of heaven, having the key to the Abyss and holding in his hand a great chain. He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years. He threw him into the Abyss, and locked and sealed it over him, to keep him from deceiving the nations any more until the thousand years were ended. After that, he must be set free for a short time.

Doesn't sound like much fun to me

Maybe it's not God bush is talking too

Honestly, I think that needed to be said. Nice uninformed pwned though... *snort*

This simply says that the serpent (satan or w/e)twill be locked for a thousand years... his influence is erased .. then:

Originally Posted by Revelation 20:7-10 NIV

When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth -- Gog and Magog -- to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

theory supported?!
Bipper

**Light Mage** · 10-20-2005, 03:10 PM

If you record Bush saying his name onto a record, and play it backwards...

The sound made is similar to the Hebrew for "I AM SATAN. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US".

**Madame Adequate** · 10-20-2005, 03:40 PM

I've been staying out of this thread because the premise is pretty ridiculous. But hey, apparently that needs to be pointed out. You all appear to forget that Palestinians reaaaaallly don't like America (Who support Israel, after all.), and they're not stupid; they know what to say to alienate the US.

"President Bush said to all of us: 'I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, "George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan." And I did, and then God would tell me, "George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq …" And I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, "Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East." And by God I'm gonna do it.'"

Though they don't know how to say it believably.

**DocFrance** · 10-20-2005, 05:04 PM

When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth -- Gog and Magog -- to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

Bah, we'll be fine as long as we can throw the Ring of Power into the fires of Mt. Doom in time.

**DarkLadyNyara** · 10-20-2005, 07:24 PM

Bah, we'll be fine as long as we can throw the Ring of Power into the fires of Mt. Doom in time.

**Shoden** · 10-26-2005, 02:33 AM

G to google, type in failure and hit "i'm feeling lucky"

**Wiegrahf42** · 10-26-2005, 02:52 AM

Yes, it is quite funny. Anyhow, wasn't the book of revelations derived from the writer's visions (some way of justifying the story if it hasn't occured yet). The whole "taking messages from god" theme has been prevalent throughout history, along with the "armageddon is imminent" spiel.

**Light Mage** · 10-26-2005, 10:58 AM

The New Testament is nothing more than a badly written Old Testament fanfic.

God is written totally out of character and Jesus is such a Mary-Sue it makes you vomit.

**Teek** · 10-26-2005, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by Light Mage

The New Testament is nothing more than a badly written Old Testament fanfic.

God is written totally out of character and Jesus is such a Mary-Sue it makes you vomit.

Usually, I absolutely hate Christian-bashing jokes, but this one was so damned hilarious that I laughed outloud.

Rock on.

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