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Thread: Corniest Lyrics EVER!

  1. #1

    Corniest Lyrics EVER!

    This thread will be abundant with fresh grown corn. Come get it while you can!


    Walker Texas Ranger Theme Song

    In the eyes of a ranger,
    The unsuspecting stranger,
    Had better know the truth of wrong from right,

    'Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you,
    Any wrong you do, he's gonna see,

    When you're in Texas, look behind you,

    'Cause that's where the rangers gonna be.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    A lot of country songs have horrible, cheesy lyrics. Example: Everything Toby Keith has ever done ever. I hate that guy.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Hsu
    A lot of country songs have horrible, cheesy lyrics. Example: Everything Toby Keith has ever done ever. I hate that guy.
    I hear ya there.


    For example:


    Tracy Byrd ---- "Drinkin' Bone"

    Well it's Friday evenin' six o'clock
    And all my friends are twistin' off
    I'm at the house just turnin' on T.V.
    And they all wonder why I've changed
    How many times must I explain
    It's basic honky tonk anatomy

    The drinkin' bone is connected to the party bone
    The party bone's connected to the stayin' out all night long
    And she won't think it's funny
    And I'll wind up all alone
    And the lonely bone's connected to the drinkin' bone

    Hey two plus two is always four
    And down is south and up is north
    Thirty-two degrees is freezing cold and,
    You play with fire you wind up burned
    The early-bird gets the worm
    But the only thing you really need to know
    Is...

    The drinkin' bone is connected to the party bone
    The party bone's connected to the stayin' out all night long
    And she won't think it's funny
    And I'll wind up all alone
    And the lonely bone's connected to the drinkin' bone

    Hey sing it with me
    Let's make sure you know....

    The drinkin' bone is connected to the party bone
    The party bone's connected tot he stayin' out all ngiht long
    And she won't think it's funny
    And I'll wind up all alone
    And the lonely bone's connected the the....

    The drinkin' bone is connected to the party bone
    The party bone's connected to the stayin' out all night long
    And she won't think it's funny
    And I'll wind up all alone
    And the lonely bone's connected to the drinkin' bone

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Hsu
    A lot of country songs have horrible, cheesy lyrics.
    Amazed by Lonestar, anyone?

  6. #6

  7. #7
    Andy Griggs - If Heaven

    If heaven was an Hour, it would be twilight
    When the fireflies start their dancin' on the lawn
    And supper's on the stove, and mama's laughin'
    And everybody’s working day is done

    If heaven was a town, it would be my town
    Oh - on a summer day in 1985
    And everything I wanted was out there waitin'
    And everyone I loved was still alive

    Chorus:
    Don’t cry a tear for me now, baby
    There comes a time we all must say goodbye
    And if that’s what heaven's made of
    You know I, I ain’t afraid to die

    If heaven was a pie, it would be cherry
    So cool and sweet, and heavy on the tongue
    And just one bite would satisfy your hunger
    And there’d always be enough for everyone

    If heaven was a train, it sure would be a fast one
    That could take this weary traveler 'round the bend
    If heaven was a tear, it'd be my last one
    And you’d be in my arms again

    Chorus:
    Don’t cry a tear for me now, baby
    There comes a time we all must say goodbye
    And if that’s what heaven's made of
    You know I, I ain’t afraid to die

    Yea, if that’s what heaven's made of
    You know I, I ain’t afraid to die.


    Hollaback Girl is a close runner up. No need to post the lyrics, as we've all heard it eleventy billion times already.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Flamethrower
    Hollaback Girl is a close runner up. No need to post the lyrics, as we've all heard it eleventy billion times already.
    Should I consider myself lucky to have never heard it before?

  9. #9
    Yes, you are lucky. Let me try to paint you a picture.

    Throughtout the song, Gwen Stefani tries to establish herself as a badass who doesn't take crap from anybody. She shows this by saying "<img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif">" a bunch of times, cuz any hip-hop-pop star who says <img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"> is not one to mess with. Here is a sample of her clear cut badassness:

    "So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
    No principals, no student-teachers"


    Hardcore to the maxxx. Then towards the end of the song, for no apparent reason, she starts singing about how "this <img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"> is bananas", and then spells "banana" out for us a bunch of times, making Good Charlotte seem like credible song writers in the process.

    ....Come to think of it, the lyrics to the song arn't so much corny as much as they are retarded.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamethrower
    Yes, you are lucky. Let me try to paint you a picture.

    Throughtout the song, Gwen Stefani tries to establish herself as a badass who doesn't take crap from anybody. She shows this by saying "<img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif">" a bunch of times, cuz any hip-hop-pop star who says <img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"> is not one to mess with. Here is a sample of her clear cut badassness:

    "So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
    No principals, no student-teachers"


    Hardcore to the maxxx. Then towards the end of the song, for no apparent reason, she starts singing about how "this <img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"><img src="/xxx.gif"> is bananas", and then spells "banana" out for us a bunch of times, making Good Charlotte seem like credible song writers in the process.

    ....Come to think of it, the lyrics to the song arn't so much corny as much as they are retarded.
    :<3: And it's extra sad because she's like, 28-30. She used to be a good writer too...

  11. #11
    Sadly, Gwen Stefani turned 36 a few days ago.

    Anyway, what was that one song by Nelly about taking off all your clothes? Does he write his own lyrics? I mean, I've always preferred bands that write their own stuff, but if you can't do it don't force it

  12. #12
    Nickelback have got to be the worst lyric writers in christendom. If you can stomache listening to one of their songs, and actually listen to the words, it's a complete load.

    For the amusement of the court, exhibit A:

    Quote Originally Posted by Nickelback, Feelin' Way Too Damn Good
    For 48 hours I don't think that we left my hotel room
    Should show you the sights
    Coz I'm sure that I said that I would
    We gotta make love just one last time in the shower
    Ick. Now to exhibit B:

    Quote Originally Posted by Nickelback, Another Rubbish Song
    Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
    We could end up saying
    Things we've always needed to say
    So we could end up stringing
    Now the story's played out like this
    Just like a paperback novel
    Lets rewrite an ending that fits
    Instead of a hollywood horror
    Ah, no, please, no more!

  13. #13
    You guys are MEAN I LIKE TOBY KEITH

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Flop
    Anyway, what was that one song by Nelly about taking off all your clothes? Does he write his own lyrics? I mean, I've always preferred bands that write their own stuff, but if you can't do it don't force it
    IT'S GETTING HOT IN HURRRR
    SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES
    I AM GETTIN SO HOT I WANNA TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF

    Yeah, that song is stupid.

  15. #15
    Vanilla Ice - Ninja Rap

    YO! It’s the green machine -- Gonna rock the town without bein’ seen
    Have you ever seen a turtle Get Down? -- Slammin’ Jammin’ to the new swing sound
    Yeah, everybody let’s move -- Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove
    Gonna rock, and roll this place -- With the power of the ninja turtle bass
    Iceman, ya know I’m not playin’ -- Devistate the show while the turtles are sayin:

    Chorus:
    Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
    GO GO GO
    Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
    Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
    GO GO GO GO

    Lyrics, fill in the gap -- Drop that bass and get the NINJA RAP
    Feel it, if you know what I mean -- Give it up for those heroes in green
    Just flowin, smooth with the power -- Kickin’ it up, hour after hour
    Cause in this life there’s only one winner -- You better aim good so you can hit the center
    In it to win it, with a team of four -- Ninja Turtles that you gotta adore it’s the:

    Chorus

    Villians, you better run and hide -- Because one day you might not slide
    Choose your weapon but don’t slip -- Vanilla’s in control with the flex of the mic grip
    Rockin’ the crowd the way it should be rocked -- With the Miami drop that you like alot
    Hittin like a Ninja Turtle when the bass kicks in -- You better check your level
    The power of the Ninja is strong -- Fightin’ all the crooks until they’re all out cold.


    I don't even think the Turtles liked this song.



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