Heidegger would bust out "Con Te Partiro" and pwnz everyone and Simon would be all like "ZOMG HEIDEGGER I <3 j00 PLZ MARRY ME" and he'd be all like "aw hell naw" and I'd be like "GET YOUR GRIMEY MEAT HOOKS OFF MY MAN YOU SKANK!!!!" and then Heidegger and I would live happily ever after. The end.