Quote Originally Posted by Old Manus
At times like those I grab the conductor by the neck and throw him out the window. You don't have to pay, and neither does anyone else.

It's a win/win situation
Thats what we should all be doing that'll teach em to ask us for money. Just make sure tho that before you throw the conducter out the window you take the money off him that he's already collected it would be criminal not to. Or you can just walk straight into the toilet cubicle as soon as you get on and stay in there til he's out of the way. And if he has the cheek to knock on the door drag him in and clean the toilet bowl with his head until you either arrive at your stop or he realises the error of his ways and does the decent thing and throws himself out of the window. I remember once I got on the train with my brother on the way home, id been on on my own on the way there but had been given two copies of my ticket so i just gave one to my brother. But the conducter checked the barcode and said "thats the same ticket"! and I said "well thats your error" He went off in a huff and said he'd be back but the next stop was ours so we got off he stuck his head out of the window and gave us dirty looks So we stood on the platform waving at him mockingly. Once i went on one of those minature railways I got on it just as it was pulling off and the guy driving it stopped it to come and bellow at me he said "you could have had us all off we could have come right off the tracks" I laughed and pointed out that considering i was walking faster than it was going somehow i don't think we'd have had any casualtys.