...

Lovelorn.

I need a hug...

Not the idea of one, or the knowledge that someone wants to hug me.

A real live actual hug.

...

Don't you need somebody to love?

How's the rest of that go...

I didn't think I'd write in here. I already have an OpenDiary. I can write in there.

...

man.

I'm not suicidal. I never have been. But death...

nah

I was happy the other day. I got to matchmake Britt and Asorie.

I overcredit myself. It obviously would have happened eventually, but I got to hurry along the process.

I made two people happy. Now I'm happy.

Or then I was happy. Now I'm the same as I was then. Just in a different house. And not quite as insane.

My dad choked me on Wednesday so I got to move out. He doesn't have a history for physical abuse but I've always had no respect for him. He is a worthless hunk of flesh, and FINALLY, he gave me what I needed to leave.

While choking, he moved me back into my room, by my scanner. There was a knife hidden behind the scanner. It's always been there; I have knives where I spend the most time incase I need them. Don't call me crazy. I've never needed to use them. But just in case there might come a time... And, see, this was a time, so don't say "It'd never have happened".

I could have killed him if I wanted to. But something said to me that you just DON'T do that to your own FATHER. Just like you don't CHOKE you're own damned SON.

...unpleasant thoughts...

Oi. I might get used to this entry stuff here. A little unorganized... Hmm... I think I'll make a suggestion to Britt. We're talking right now.

...

I'm a comedian, right? I make people laugh. If people are happy, I'm happy.

...is that all I am to you...?

What am I? Give me some other purpose than for your own entertainment, someone. I hate being worthless.