Things FF8 Characters Would Never Say...

[boys from the dwarf]

irvine: vincent. i challenge you to a duel! *glove slaps vincent*
vincent: i accept. *slaps back with his metal arm.*
if anyone can tell me what film that was a spoof of i will tell them the meaning of life.

[_yeojina_]

Laguna: All right, I got the right map. All we need to do is go to the right and we're at the bar! *Turns to the left*
Kiros: That's the left, idiot.
Ward: He's right, ya know.
Laguna: Hey, you're not Raijin, got it? Okay good. *Thinking* I still don't know my lefts and rights! No dinner again!

In the training grounds...
Squall: I have officially trained a T-Rexaur!
Quistis: Great! All you need to do is find a Chocobo, a Tonberry, a Cactuar, a Wendigo and Irvine's gun, and you've completed the SeeD test!
Squall: God help me.

In the Library...
Rinoa: Hey Zell, what are you reading about?
Zell: *Quickly hides book* Uhm... nothing!
Rinoa: Tell me! Or else... *Reaches for her pocket*
Zell: NOOO!!! Please!!! Not my very first clothes!

In the Dormitory...
Selphie: Where would Squall hide his gunblade? It would make me a fortune!
Irvine: Where would I leave my gun? It's worth a fortune!
Cid: Where are my sunglasses? It would make me a dude!
Edea: Where's my voodoo doll? It would make me a cheesecake!
Ellone: Where would Ward hide his harpoon? I need to practice my weightlifting!
Squall: WTF are you doing in my dorm?!?!
Rinoa: WTF are you doing in Squall's dorm?!?!
Quistis: WTF are you doing with my spare glasses?!?!
Ultimecia: WTF are you doing to my air-konditioning system which kools my kastle and pwns all the other buildings!?!? *Explosion is heard*
Ultimecia: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! MY KASTLE!!! MY AIR-KONDITIONING!!! MY FILES OF YURI!!! Er... I didn't do anything!
Zell: Oooh! A hotdog! *Prepares to eat the hotdog*
Seifer: ZELL!!! WTF ARE YOU DOING TO MY HOTDOG!!!

Later in the Cafeteria...
Squall: Oooh! A flashback!

In the flashback...
Quistis: Squall, do you know how to use your gunblade?
Squall: I'm a gunblade specialist, of course I know!
Ifrit: Prove it. *Squall softly pokes Ifrit* ACK!!! Guess I'll have to join you...

FIN

[nik0tine]

FFVIII characters would never say anything and everything that is not in the game script.

[Fonzie]

Irvine: I can't shoot her...
Squall: *sigh*
Irvine: I try to act cool but never can keep it real
Squall: Give me the smurfing rifle you dumbass
Irvine: Hey, your mean.
Squall: Your gay
Irvine: ...am not...

[Ciretho]

Squall: Alright Selphie, think carefully. Where did you leave my glitter?

Irvine: *Sniff Sniff* Eh? that smell is... Zell! Are you smoking Gyshal greens?!
Zell: Shome kid shold it to me insh a foresht.... Fweeee.

Ultimecia: My... my sandcastle... DIE EVIL WAVES!! *Procedes to turn merge with griever*

Quistis: How does your gunblade work Squall?
Squall: Dunno, I just press R1 and KABLAMMO!

On Ragnarock. Squall and Rinoa.
Squall: Starts humming 'Eyes on Me'
Rinoa: What are you doing?
Squall: I just got this song stuck in my head.

Selphie on train
Selphie: Train, train, take us away...

Selphie on ragnarock
Selphie; Ragnarock, Ragnarock, take us away...

Selphie riding on Irvines back
Selphie: Irvine, Irvine, take us away...

[Ciretho]

Zell: Hey Squall, I just got to Hotdog lvl. 99! I am the king!

Ultemecia: Cid! Are you playing runescape AGAIN!
Cid: But..but.. I''ve almost finished a quest!

Seifer: One day I'll tell you about my ROMANTIC dream! *Looks out of screen and winks*
Me: Ngyaaah!

Chicabo: This isn't easy to say but... Squall, i have to move out. i'm sorry.
Squall: But where will you go?
Chicabo: i've found a nice pocketstation willing to take me in.
Squall: You said you were just friends!

[Hambone]

Squall: Yo Mama!

[Bart's Friend Milhouse]

Squall (to Zell): Hey ahab. Kypo mein dubage?

[Shin Gouken]

Seifer: Chicken wuss
Zell: MOTHER smurfIN PIECE OF [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]!!!!!!


Irvine: Scratch my ass???
Zell: errr no!


Cid: Hey dog, what's goin all ya'll. I'm down with the hip mofo ya'll. I had to pop a cop who wasn't givin me ma props in oaktown. mmmhmmm that's right girlfriend



Boys of the dwarf, men in tights

[Bart's Friend Milhouse]

Squall (to Rinoa at inauguration party): Yes, I would very much like to dance with you. By the way your fancy hand spasm completely worked on me

[_yeojina_]

Zell: Hey, guess what guys?
Everyone else: What?
Zell: I got a new fighting technique!
*Everyone slowly takes a step back*
Zell: Instead of punching random monsters, I'm gonna bitch slap them!
*Everyone walks away*
Zell: What?
*Lightning zaps his hotdogs he was preparing to eat*
Zell: Cool! Zapped hotdog!
*Zell glomps the zapped hotdog*

In Ultimecia's castle...
Ultimecia: I shall kill all SeeDs!
*Irvine's playing to CD music* *Ultimecia destroys the CD*
Squall: We shall save all music saved on those shiny circley stuff! And the other stuff on those circley things!

Back in Balamb Garden...
Rinoa: We finally defeated Ultimecia after 3 years!
Irvine: She was a pretty good target for shooting practice!
Zell: I also stole her gloves which are specially designed for bitch slapping!
Squall: She needed a good slash or two.
Quistis: And lots of whipping! She's been a very bad girl!
Selphie: I admit, I actually found her kinda kinky...
*Everyone walks away except for Zell*
Zell: Wanna go to the cafeteria?
Selphie: I heard that there were new zapped hotdogs. I wanna try some!

In the Ragnarok...
Xu: We are about to- OH MY GOD! IS THAT A JUMBO CACTUAR?!?!
*Everyone crowds around Xu*
Squall: She's right! And there's a Tonberry King!
Selphie: I can see a Chocobo and a Chicobo!
Zell: Beat this! I can see a Pupu-thingamagig!
Rinoa: It's called a Pupu. And I can see my darling Angelo flying into the engine. OH NO! HE'S GONNA BE MINCED DOGGY!
Quistis: Don't worry Rinoa, I'll give her a Phoenix Down... after I eat him... Er, I mean, after we find all the bits of Angelo! Right? Right? Right?
*Squall's comforting Rinoa*
Quistis: I never get any attention when I'm wearing my glasses...

In the Training Grounds...
Irvine: I'm the one with the snazzy rifles and the long guns!
Vincent: I'm the sexy one with a Calibur .45 and Selphie as my girlfriend!
FIN

[SquallsAngel]

irvine: vincent. i challenge you to a duel! *glove slaps vincent*
vincent: i accept. *slaps back with his metal arm.*
if anyone can tell me what film that was a spoof of i will tell them the meaning of life.

I believe it twas Robin Hood: Men in tights... My Lord it's pathetic that I know that...

Becca

[_yeojina_]

Rinoa: It's like, Zoh My God! Squall, I love you!
Squall: It's like, Zoh My God! Rinoa, I love you!

In the Cactuar Island...
Rinoa: Ooh! A cactuar! *Pokes the cactuar* Ow! Meanie! *Summons Leviathan*
Selphie: Nice going, Rinoa! Too bad you lost 7000 HP just by poking that Cactuar.
Zell: Hey! Who wants Zapped Cactuar?

FIN

[BahamutGurl]

Squall-This concert selphie set up makes me want to do the cha cha with Zell!

[_yeojina_]

Squall: I like Tonberries. And Rinoa.
Quistis: I luff Laguna.
Rinoa: I luff Angelo. And Squall.
Selphie: I luff Irvine... He's so- *Selphie gets smacked by Vincent* I meant Vincent! He's so- *Selphie gets smacked by Irvine*
Laguna: Alrighty, peoples, back off, back off. We're having an authorised slapping-Selphie-on-the-head competition. Anyone not abiding to the rules will face... MY GUN! *Everyone gasps*
Zell: Hey! I'm the God of the annual slapping-Selphie-on-the-head competition!

Later, when all was quiet and some were hurt fairly badly...
Zell: Zapped Chocobo anyone?
Irvine: You don't belong here Vincent. Piss off.
Vincent: As long as I take Selphie with me.
Irvine: Don't even think about it.
Squall: Break it up. Or else... :twak:
Irvine and Vincent: GOD NO! ANYTHING BUT THE SPLINTERED GUNBLADE!!! *Both run off to Ward for protection*

Meanwhile, in the library...
Seifer: You see her? *Points to Rinoa* I'm gonna poke her!
Fujin: You shouldn't be doing that.
Raijin: Yea, she's right, ya know! *Seifer walks up to Rinoa*
Seifer: Hi, Rinoa.
Rinoa: SQUALL!!! WHERE HAVE YOU- Oh, sorry Seifer. I thought it was Squall. *Seifer pokes Rinoa* HEY!!! MEANIE!!! *Casts Water on Seifer*
Raijin: We told ya lots of times before, ya know.
Fujin: Don't feel too bad, she always does that to anyone who pokes her. Except for Squall.
Seifer: Blub bloob glup gloop gleep blib blob! *Interpretation* WATER! I'M ALLERGIC TO WATER!!! ACK!

Later, when the SeeDs have gone on another mission, watching the LCD Screen in the Ragnarok...

TV: And now, the Tonberry King will demonstrate how to cut those stubborn Greens and Peppers.
Tonberry King: First, you need a Chef's Knife, like this. *Shows Chef's Knife* Then, you cut the Gysahl Greens, which I have here, into quarter sections. *DOINK DOINK DOINK DOINK! Gysahl Greens lose 9999 HP* Please make sure that you cut them properly so that the Greens lose 9999 HP. Use the same technique with the other Greens and Peppers. Thank you. Gunblades can also be used for this technique. *Loud screaming from the girls*
TV: And now, we have the less charming, more funny and stupid Jumbo Cactuar with his Physics lesson!
Jumbo Cactuar: Wassup? Today, I'm gonna tell you about my eternal love to Lily, my pet strawberry jam tart! *Presents Lily* Isn't she pretty? She just captures your heart! *Jumbo Cactuar starts glomping the jam tart*
Xu: Hey, we're near our destination. Please turn the damn LCD Screen off before I come over there and use my skills of Paekwondo, the famous and ancient arts of poking. *Everyone, except Squall, starts screaming in fear, with Zell having a girly scream after learning how to slap* Um, Squall?
Squall: No, I'm not going on a date with you.
Xu: But you promised! But you're supposed to scream in fear when I get ready to use my skills of Paekwondo, the famous and ancient arts of poking. *Squall pokes Xu with no skill of Paekwondo, the famous and ancient arts of poking* I WIN!!! Now, it's time to cut those damn Amnesia Greens for Zell's need for smoking again. *Evil smile inserted here*
FIN