"When I told him to contemplate the intricacies of fire this isn't what I had in mind."

*Internal Monologue* "I am such a bada##. Standing here in this here fire. Oh yes. It's warm. Next time I'm bringing a fan....Oh yeah I'm a real bada##. What smells like roasting meat?? I'M ON FIRE! MY PANTS! MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!...MY SWORD! IT DOES NOTHING!"