Favorite Simpsons quotes.

[Mittopotahis]

Now that I have your Attention, Vote 1 Bart Simpson.'
One of the best quotes from the Simpsons ever. What are your favourite simpsons quotes? I also like this one

*rings phone*
Hello? This is Homer Simpson.
When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one thing. You didn't tell me it was built ON AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND!!!!
...NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!!
...Well that's not my recollection.
...Alright, Goodbye
*hangs up phone*
He says he mentioned it 5 or 6 times.

[SammieBabe]

Homer to Billy Corgan : "Wow. Thanks to you guys and your gloomy music, my kids have stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide."

[Del Murder]

Homer (on the phone): Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow.
Homer: Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow. From Leave it to Beaver.
Homer: Yeah, they were gay.

[Brian The Pink Shark]

Homer: Yes i am the highly suggestable type

--------------------------------

Lisa: it says here we have to feed him plenty of olive oil to ensure a glossy coat
Homer: oh yeah a dog like this you have to feed everyday

[Tai-Ti]

Homer: someone's a light traveler
Lisa: Maybe you're just getting stronger
Homer: well I have been eating more!

Brad Goodman: We have to change from Human beings, to human doing's, what's next?
Bart: A human going!

Bart: Millhouse likes you
Lisa: oh please, Millhouse likes vasaline on toast.

Uder: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!

there are just to many to name

[Loony BoB]

Wiggum: Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Wiggum: What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?

Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!

<a href="http://www.thedotdotdot.com/humor/ralphquotes.html">Actually, there are too many Ralph quotes to really narrow down.</a>


Lionel Hutz: Uh oh, we drew Judge Schneider.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: Really?!
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'...

Moe (After a lie detector test): Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight (lie buzzer) ..a date (lie buzzer) ..dinner with a friend (lie buzzer) ..dinner alone (lie buzzer) ..watching TV alone (lie buzzer) ..All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.(Lie buzzer) Sears catalog. (ding) Now will you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! (lie buzzer)

Wiggum: Okay, folks, show's over, nothing to see here, show's- Oh, my God! A horrible plane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage. Come on crowd around. Crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around.

Homer: When the fire starts to burn, there's a lesson we must learn, something something then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe!

Customer: I'd like $2 of gas please.
Apu: That'll be 4.20.

Homer: Hey, Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Sure.
Homer: Well, you see, I've got this friend, his name is... Joey... Joe Joe... Junior... Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard!
(Guy sitting next to Homer gets up, starts crying, and leaves)
Barney: Come back, Joey Joe Joe!
Home: Oh what the hell, it's me.

Apu: Yes, I'm sorry, I do not speak English, ok.
Lady: But you were just talking--
Apu: Yes! Yes! Hot dog! Hot dog! Yes, sir! No, sir! Maybe! Ok!

[Pheesh]

Dr. Nick Riviera: Well if it isn't my old friend mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg.

Stay Essential
EE

[Shadowflare]

Homer: Canada? Awww, why would we want to leave America to visit America Junior?

there are just to many to name

Too true.

[Jowy]

Otto's Landlord: All you had were a couple of old Psycho magazines and some mustard.
Otto: Whoa. I had mustard?

[Dreddz]

" Hey Maxx Power, Great name "
" Yea, I got it off a hair dryer "

Moments after

" Hey you like Thai "
" Yea, you like shirt "

Simpsons has got some classic quotes, but for some reason I can only remember these crappy ones ....

[Flamethrower]

Homer: It probably that stupid cat.
Marge: That cat saved your life.
Homer: Yeah, but what has he done for me lately?
Marge: He woke you up when you stopped breathing last night.
Homer: <i>[shakes fist in the air]</I> Yeah, but he ate the last can of tuna.
Lisa: Dad, you ate the last can of tuna.
Homer: .....<i>[sadly]</i> Everyone's against me.

[Black Mage FF1]

Homer:

Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history. From the, town of springfield. He's about to hit a chess nut tree....AHHHH


Lisa, vampires are make believe. Like elves, gremlins and eskimos.


Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


Marge: Homer the lord only asks for 2 hours of your time every Sunday (something like that)

Homer: Then he should have made the day two hours longer....lousy lord.


Oh, so they have internet on computers now!


Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.


If he's so smart then how come hes dead?


"Homer,we're gonna ask you a few questions. Do you understand?"

Homer: "Yes"

*Lie detector blows up*


Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."


Homer: I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!


Homer: Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.


Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?


Homer: Thank you brave clown. In death you saved us all.

Krusty: Im not dead.

Homer: I can still here his voice in the wind.


Homer: Oh lisa, you and your stories. Barts a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now lets go back to that place, where our beds and stuff.....are....at.


Barny: My name is barny and im an alcoholic.

Lisa: Mr. Gumbo this is a girls scout meeting.

Barny: Is it? Or is it that you girls cant admit you have a problem?


Homer: Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.


*Simpsons trying to figure out how they can save money*

Bart: I'll start smoking and give that up

Homer: Good for you son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things to do. Have a dollar.

Lisa: But he didnt do anything.

Homer: Didnt he lisa? Didnt he? Oh wait, he didnt. *Snatches dollar back*


Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! (pause) Except the weasel.


Homer: Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.


Homer: Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?


Homer: I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in.


Homer: That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing, but I will not stand by and watch you feed a hungry dog! Go to your room!


Marge: the plant called today, they arent happy you missed work, they said if you dont come in tommorow dont bother coming in on Monday.

Homer: WOO-HOO!! 4 day weekend!!!

[Chris]

Marge: "Homer, that's the worst thing you've ever done!"

Homer: "You say that so often it's lost all meaning."

XD

[raskerino]

Parentheses signify thought.
Homer: That's the best kiss I've had all day (or was it?)
Marge: What are you thinking?
Homer (quickly): Manly thoughts.

Homer: mmmmm... (insert term here)

[Rainecloud]

Homer, Bart and Lisa are attempting to save Springfield from an attack of Zombies that Bart accidentally summoned. Homer gets his gun, and the three Simpsons make their way to the car. Suddenly, a pale-faced, crusty looking Ned Flanders appears...

Flanders: I'm feeling a bit peckish Homer; mind if I chew on your ear?
*Homer shoots Flanders with his revolver*
Bart: Wow, Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?

Classic.