Favourite Family Guy Quotes

[Vincent, Thunder God]

Since we have a favourite Simpsons Quotes thread, I thought it would be cool to hear some favourite Family Guy quotes from you guys too. Personally I find Family Guy marginally better than the Simpsons in terms of humor- it always gets more laughter out of me.

Some of the jokes can go a bit far, but I find if they joke about religion and racism they do so in a positive way, not in a way to continue discrimination.

My favourite quotes are:

1.Ollie Williams (newscaster who usually does weather): IS' GONNA RAIN!

2. Ollie Williams: WHO WANTS THIS DOG ?!?

Extended version:

Diane Simmons:...And that's it for sports. Now, let's go to Ollie Williams with the Adopt-a-Pet of the week.
Ollie the Weatherman: [holding a small puppy] Who wants this dog?
Diane Simmons: [cut back] Thanks, Ollie. And now, let's go to Peter Griffin with "Ya Know What Really Grinds My - "
[Tom Tucker appears]
Diane Simmons: Tom, what are you doing? You don't work here anymore.
Tom Tucker: Well Diane, I have an exclusive story. And I... can't figure out how to check my e-mail from home.
Ollie the Weatherman: [off-screen] Did you check your TCP/IP settings?
Tom Tucker: Yes I did, Ollie.
Ollie the Weatherman: [off-screen] Enable cookies?
Tom Tucker: Yes, Ollie.
Ollie the Weatherman: [off-screen] You want this dog?
Tom Tucker: No thank you, Ollie.

3.Old Stewie: Actually nowadays vacations are in the future and past. Once we went to see Jesus. He isn't quite as talented as most people think.

[Camera turns to Jesus in front of a crowd in Jerualem, juggling three balls]

Jesus: Sings broadway music off-key Ba-nan-nan-na-ban-nan-na-nan-nan.

4.[Stewie looks at an clown doll]
Stewie: How deliciously evil looking... it's like something out of Stephen King!

[Camera turns to Double Day office]

Stephen King: For my 307th book... a couple is attacked by a... [picks up lamp] lamp monster! 0oooooooo!

Publisher: You're not even trying anymore are you?

[ King thrusts out lamp several times and makes strange grunts]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what are your favourite Family Guy quotes? Try to keep them within the limits of politeness.