Homer: no matter how good you are at something, there is always at leats a million people better than you!
(a rule that applies to real life!)
Homer: I can't become a missionary, I don't even believe in Jebus

Lisa: Dad, what happened to the back seat?
Homer: I had to sell it for gas money (car stops) WItch i traded for a novelty horn (falls on stearing wheel, and novelty horn plays)

Wiggum: it just disserpe- it's a ghost car! (stops car) you know there are ghost cars all over these highways.
Homer: hold me
Wiggum: only if you hold me.

Wiggum: two female suspects, one has pearls, a green dress and alot of blue hair
Homer: Alot of blue hair! haha, what a freak! (pictures a monster)

School girls: at 7 tonight the games begin, Bart vs Lisa who will win? Their father's fat and their mother's thin, and gandpar simpson reaks of gin!
Gandpar: hey! (sniffs jumper) that's obession for men!

Dr Nick: the thigh bone's conected to the....something, the something's conected to the....red thing, the red thing's conected to my wrist watch.....uh oh.

Mr Burns: oh Smithers, he doesn't even know the meaning of the word gay.

Mr Burns: some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food, the only thing I'm hunting forrrrrrr, is an outfit that lookss gooooooood........
seeeeee. myyyyyy, vest! see my vest! made from real gorilla chest, see this sweater, there's not better, than autheintic irish setter, see this has, twas my cat, evening wear, vampire bat! These white slippers are albino african endangered rhino, grizzly bear, underwear, turturle neck's I've got my share, see a poodle of my noodles it's (something in french) like my red robin suit, it comes one breast or 2, see my vest see my vest see my vest!
Lllllike mmmmmy loafers, former goffers, its wa sthat, or skin my chaufeurs, but a greyhoung fur tuxedo would be besssssst, so lets prepare these dogs (woman: save 2 for matching clogs) see my vest, see my vest, oh PLEASE won't you see my vvveeeeeeessssssstttttttttt!