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Thread: Something funny I read on Chav Scum.com

  1. #1
    Banned Destai's Avatar
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    Default Something funny I read on Chav Scum.com

    I think its fantastic anyway.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Do you get bored whilst trailing the trouble and strife round Asda? Here are fourteen things a man can do to help pass the time.

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

    5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

    10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

    11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

    12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

    13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream !...It's those voices again!!!"

    And last but not least:

    14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."

  2. #2
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    The hilarity is...DESTAI DOES THIS EVERY DAY


    there was a picture here

  3. #3
    get mad Zeldy's Avatar
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    Kehehe, funny. But Id never do it.

  4. #4
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Manus
    The hilarity is...DESTAI DOES THIS EVERY DAY
    You mean post lame threads on EoFF? Yup.

    (Actually I love Destai and I will crush the balls of anyone that calls him lame so if you'll excuse me...)

  5. #5
    Northern String Twanger Shoden's Avatar
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    That rocks, more ideas hehehehe.

    LET THE HAMMER FALL

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  7. #7
    Being Pooh. Chris's Avatar
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    Anyone who makes fun of an Irish man, is obviously jealous of his nationality.

    Fun stuff!



  8. #8
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris
    Anyone who makes fun of an Irish man, is obviously jealous of his nationality.
    Oh, no, see that doesn't apply to me because I'm British. We're not jealous of anyone because we're arrogant and believe we should rule the world and everyone will be our slaves. So yeah, it's cool, don't worry about it.

  9. #9
    sdcopp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotic
    Oh, no, see that doesn't apply to me because I'm British. We're not jealous of anyone because we're arrogant and believe we should rule the world and everyone will be our slaves. So yeah, it's cool, don't worry about it.
    And here I thought it was just us Americans who felt that way, sheesh
    Tyler lies back and asks, "If Marilyn Monroe was alive right now, what would she be doing?"
    I say, goodnight.
    The headliner hangs down in shreds from the ceiling, and Tyler says, "Clawing at the lid of her coffin."

  10. #10
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sdcopp
    And here I thought it was just us Americans who felt that way, sheesh
    That's why our countries are homies, and we drive-by those Iraqi foo's to hell for musclin' in on our turf, bizzatch!

  11. #11
    RX Queen Recognized Member kikimm's Avatar
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    I've seriously considered doing number 12 more than a few times. But I am also a coward. Sigh.
    --Box Box Box Box

  12. #12
    White Mage Fanboy Light Mage's Avatar
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    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

    There are only nine letters I can think of to describe that:
    OMG, WTF & LOL.
    My Cure spell brings all the boys to the yard,
    And they're like: "It's better than yours."
    Damn right, it's better than yours!
    I could Heal you, but I have to charge.

  13. #13

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    I would love to see someone trying to pull off one of those, it would be freakin funny. The only one that i think someone would have difficultly pulling off is the first one, but i think it would also be the funniest.
    Now for some words of wisdom:
    Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.....hmmm wait just a minute.

    Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking

    "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
    - Britney Spears, Pop Singer

  14. #14
    Pat Fenguin Xaven's Avatar
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    Number 14 sounds fun.

  15. #15
    Pyramid Head is l.o.v.e Social Moon Firesky's Avatar
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    :O Challenges! I shall definitely have to try all of those out next time I go to Asda. Teh awesomez!
    ~Maelström Fury~

    .: Sekhmet's Moon :. Here.

    私は天使の女王です。

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