OK, let's get a few things straight:
1) I am your king. You obey me, and only me. Or I kill you.
2) Everyone here serves me, and I serve Maddox, Grand Imperator of all Pirates.
3) Pirates rock. Therefore, Maddox rocks, and I also rock, to a lesser extent. You, as a simple n00b, do not rock. You barely even pop-rock.
4) I like beans!
5) Maddox will eat you if I tell him. Unless I say something dumb, then he'll eat me. He's tough but fair.
6) Pirates rock. This needs to be stated twice, because it is twice as true as any other fact in the universe.